Run an experiment on the two teams

"You know what I've always wondered, from a scientific standpoint?" you say. "Whether a girl's sports performance is more hampered by a uniform that is too big, or too small."

"A valid query," says Heron.

"I posit that we should enchant the Sharks' suits to shrink slightly every time they touch the ball, and the Eels' suits to grow when they do the same."

"How do we do that?"

"It's done."

You watch with amusement as Bubble, who is idly juggling a ball to herself, suddenly stops to tug at her bottoms. It would seem that the bothersome brief has at some point retreated right up her crack, showing a lot more bare cheek than she's used to. She arches her back trying to straighten it out again, only to have her eyes go wide as she feels a few seems pop in her over-extended top.

You enjoy a look at Bubble's tightening cleavage. If she takes a few more strikes, she's going to pop right out. You definitely made the right choice, letting the clothes tighten on the larger-breasted Sharks while allowing the smaller-breasted Eels to slip out of their slowly expanding suits.

"What's wrong, Bubble?" says a dark blue ponytailed girl, stretching enticingly in the sand.

"I think I need to change my suit really quickly," says Bubble, pulling fruitlessly at her inexplicable wedgie. "Make sure they don't start the match until--"

The referee, a large-breasted, baby-blue piece with bouncy yellow hair down to her shoulders and a black-striped bandeau-and-shorts combination, blows the whistle.

"Form up, girls!" she shouts. "The game is starting NOW!"