Ross’s bachelor party (Ross’s version)

I asked Joey to be my best man. I told him explicitly I did not want a wild bachelor party. Something chill. Maybe some bourbon and cigars on a back porch. Deep sea fishing on a nice day. Just a chance to get away and have fun.

I had him run everything by me. It seems legit. He was following my guidelines. My future brothers-in-laws we’re going to be there, and I didn’t want Joey to make a bad impression.

I knew something was up when Joey invited me and Chandler down the day before the bachelor party was supposed to start. But I saw the AirBnB. It was in a neighborhood. Surely he wouldn’t pull some crazy shit at this house.

We went out and had a nice steak dinner, and a few adult beverages. When we got back to the house, Joey kept constantly checking his phone. I knew something was up.

I wasn’t surprised when the doorbell rang. Joey had hired strippers. Three of them. At least he didn’t do it when Rachel’s brothers were around.

The strippers had me sit back, and gave me the full bachelor experience. Three women stripped for me and gave me lap dances. It was fun, but I kept my hands to myself. I cannot say the same for Joey.

He was trying to fuck these women. He kept groping them, and trying to move their hands down to his penis. Even Chandler got uncomfortable and asked him to stop.

Joey wouldn’t give up though. I remember him asking, “How much to fuck one of you? I have a bunch of cash. C’mon! Give me a number.”

The oldest of the strippers threw out a high number. Maybe as a joke. Maybe to just deter his annoying persistence. “$5,000 cash.”

Joey was happy to just get a number. He started to negotiate, “How about $1,000? It would take long. Quick, easy money.”

She countered, “I gave you a number. If you can’t do that much, just say so. I won’t think less of you.”

“So $5,000 and I get to fuck you raw, right here in front of everyone?” Joey asks.

“Yeah, if you got the money,” the blonde said confident that Joey was bluffing and didn’t have that much cash.

Joey said, “For that much cash, I better get to put it in every hole.”

“Either pay, or shut up. We’re about to leave,” the blonde crossed her arms. The other girls were already packing up, getting ready to go.

“What’s your Venmo,” Joey asked.

“It’s cash or nothing,” the blond said firmly.

Joey bent his neck to the side, looking up, really contemplating if he should do this. Finally he said, “Fuck it!”

He stormed off to his room, and after a minute came back with a big wad of cash. He handed it to the other stripper. He said, “Count it.” He stared at the blonde, daring her to back out.

She waited until the money was counted. Her friend/co-worker said, “There’s at least $5,000.”

“I put in a little extra to ease your worries,” says Joey. He rubbed his cock through his pants. “You still down.”

You could see the blonde reluctantly make her decision, “Fine,” she said. “You can fuck me but don’t expect me to enjoy it.”

“Fuck yeah,” Joey growled lifting off his shirt and pushing down his pants. “I get to fuck each of your holes. Let’s start with the mouth.”

The blonde got on her knees and sucked his half hard cock into her mouth. The four of us watching felt so uncomfortable. He didn’t say anything, and could only stare in disbelief.

As he got harder, he started to fuck the blonde’s mouth. Soon he was ramming in her throat, making her gag. To our relief he finally stopped and told her to bend over the chair.

She obeyed. He grabbed a bottle of lube he had in the pocket of his pants that were discarded on the ground. He squirted some on his dick, before he rammed it into the blonde without warning. To her credit, she didn’t scream out and only grunted.

He pounded inside her with disregard for her well-being or pleasure. He was primal, and trying to assert his dominance.

When he was done fucking her pussy, he grabbed the bottle of lube again and squirted some directly on her butthole. He fished his finger inside her spreading the lube around. Then he grabbed her hips, and thrust his dick into her ass.

Thankfully he didn’t last much longer inside her tight asshole. He came inside her, not bothering to pull out until he was finished.

After he did, the blonde quietly put on her clothes, and they all left with the cash. Still naked with a throbbing erection, Joey yelled, “Now that’s the way to start off a bachelor party!”