Ride like the wind, Reuben!

"A true adventurer earns his night of passion!" You shout into the night air with no one but Reuben around to hear your words. " Your first time is not something one should pay for, it should be a special moment in a young warriors life. Such as being taken into the silk bedding of a princess after rescuing her from a dragon's lair, or having a threesome with a farmer's twin daughters after you've saved their humble farm from a pack of giant wolves! Anything but the one eyed dwarf woman..."

You find yourself sitting at a creaky wooden table outside the guildhall. You contemplate your future as you swat away at the dozens of insects attracted to the lantern hanging above you. "Cheer up lad, life can't be that bad." A tall rotund man with a thick beard says as he takes the seat opposite you. You hear the small wooden chair beneath him emit a crackling sound.

"Are you a giant?" You ask.

The man's whole body shakes as he lets out a blusterous laugh. "No lad, I'm no giant." He continues chuckling. "Just a large man who enjoys the occasional ale. Oh and I got myself a bit of the lycanthropy. Caught it on a holiday down south." You stare in disbelief, you had always heard tales of lycans as fierce warriors who would transform into hulking beasts during combat and slaughter their foes. But here was a real lycan and he seemed to be a jolly drunk. "Now, what troubles ya?"

" It's my first day as an adventurer and I'm poor, alone and don't want to have sex with a dwarf missing her left eye."

" Ah so you've come across Matilda? No I wouldn't recommend any pup make their way into that that beast's cave. As for being poor, you're an adventurer, take a quest!"

"I need a party, and all I have right now is my burro, Reuben."

"Well that makes three of us then." The drunk stood up. "I was just looking for a new party, names Seamus, let's get started."