Rachel

My eyes connect with Rachel’s beautiful blues. I ask, “When was the first time you had sex with Ross?”

She smiles, “Seriously? Why is everyone asking me about my sex life?”

“It’s because you act like you’re a devout Christian housewife, but you have the body of a sex goddess who needs to be worshipped,” Phoebe says. “We want to find out which one you are.” She looks at me, and winks.

“Well I did agree to a dick measuring contest where the winner could pick me for sex,” Rachel reminds us. “And without much hesitation showed everyone my boobs. I’m obviously not the uptight woman y’all thought I was.”

“Why don’t you ask me,” says her husband. “I’ll tell you when we first had sex.” He was drunk and annoyed at his wife. Now he didn't mind revealing more of their sex life.

I ask him, “When did you and Rachel first have sex?”

“Our honeymoon,” he answered.

That response woke Monica up. “What? Are you serious? You lived together for like two years before you got married. How did you not have sex?”

“This is the reason we thought you were uptight,” Joey says. “Ross always bitched about how you wouldn’t put out. I swear he only married you for the sex.”

Rachel didn’t like that comment, but she kept her mouth shut.

I pushed forward, “Tell us about that first time on your honeymoon.”

“No. No. No,” Monica says. “I wanna hear how they survived two years of living together without having sex! That sounds impossible.”