Q&A answers

The writer looked up and to the side, thinking. He adjusted his clothing after his quick trip through the air.

His table companion giggled and poked him with her elbow. "They're waiting," she said.

"Oh, right, Jane," he said, looking back at Jane, who had been waiting expectantly, leaning in toward him. "Well, Patty is a visual nod to someone I worked with, her shape and coloring, but I didn't know her that well. Ayanna Washington picks up some personality from a woman I knew who was a security guard, as does the hotel security guard in Best Man's Diary. And John, if you've got an itch, you really shouldn't spread it around. Sets a bad example, you know."

John Doe wilted in his chair.

Jane nodded. "I thought that there was some real person hidden behind that story. How about Helen?" Jane probed.

"Whole cloth. Not particularly like anyone I know," Zingiber said. "I can't remember any other particular people who made it into Office Morale as characters, just Patty and bits of Ayanna."

Pippi Mop-Skates put down her Nutella-and-whipped-cream covered cookie and whispered in his ear.

"Oh, yes, Pips said I should pass this along, in case you run into the editor for this story. I'd love to see Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders host some sex-educational videos. Though she probably has had enough of talking about sex in public after the president didn't stand by her when she said masturbation was normal. Damn shame, that was. Maybe I can have her visit Joyce -- darn, maybe that's a reference -- in When The Cat's Away."

Jane's eyes widened. She scribbled notes furiously. "That will give a lot of insight when I write your writer profile."

Pippi pushed her hat back and gestured threateningly with the can of whipped cream. "Remember, sister," she said. "No nasty insinuations about my keyboard ****. I know how to use this and I know where you live."

"You do?" Jane said, looking blank.

Pippi nodded.

"Anyway, John," Zingiber continued. "To come back to your earlier question, I thought it was important in Office Morale to make a point of safer sex as a policy. You know, if some company made sex into a company practice, there would be policies and procedures. So Aurora Mishkin sort of personifies that. She has her fishing tackle box full of safe sex supplies and she's always ready to help demonstrate good techniques or interrupt bad ones. It's a position of power that she can ****, though she doesn't do it especially much, or at least she doesn't feel that she does. And, to lay things on in a Freudian way, she has a bit of a fetish for anal sex. Mostly gloved fingers, you know, that sort of thing. Maybe she used to be a nurse."

John nodded, feeling more comfortable that the attention was off him personally. "Freudian?" he asked.

"Oh, John," Jane said. "It's, you know, like those symbol things. Like cigars being like penises, like personality types, anal people are picky."

"Anal-retentive personality types are that way," Zingiber said. "Anal-aggressive types will dump their messes on you. Ahem."

Pippi giggled and waved her whipped cream canister. "And oral-aggressive types want to bite you!"

John and Jane looked flustered, but tried to bring themselves back into their interviewer roles.