Princess Adella

Her Royal Highness, Adella, Princess Royal Of Mirantia, asked for the third time for her hairbrush. “Courtney, are you even listening to me?”

“I’m sorry, Your Highness,” responded her lady in waiting and lifelong friend. She hands the princess the brush and continues to assist her in getting ready for the day.

“I swear you have your head in the clouds. One would think it was you who was about to be sold off by your parents. The way you keep looking out the window, it makes me wonder if you think you can grow wings and fly!”

True, Courtney is absent-minded this morning, but Adella’s words reflect her own feelings. At 23 years of age, she is beautiful, a reflection of her mother’s breathtaking beauty at that age. With long platinum-colored hair, bright-eyed, and full-figured, she strikes a captivating impression on anyone who would see her, even if they didn’t know of her royal birth.

Adella’s thoughts are not on her life of privilege this morning; instead, she is dreading the circumstances of her birth. As the eldest child of the King and Queen of Mirantia, she should be the rightful heir to the throne, but for a misguided and antiquated law of primogeniture. In this kingdom, the eldest male child inherits the father’s titles and properties. Even though she is the eldest child by 18 months, she is third in line to the throne, following her two younger brothers.

Now, valued less for her potential abilities to rule and more for her looks and uterus, she bemoans the accident of birth that placed her in these circumstances. She sets down her brush and turns to Courtney.

“You know, I am smarter than my brothers, and I am just as good with a sword. It is only because I am a woman that they see me as merely a pawn in their grand diplomatic chess game.”

“You know it’s true,” agrees Courtney. “The only sword that matters for anything around here is if you have one between your legs.”

“Well, I may be lacking in that respect, but I have more balls than both of my brothers put together. Why is it that no one asks who is the most knowledgeable, or wisest, or most prudent when it comes to determining our leader? The sole criterion is the presence of a penis. And now I am fated to be the obedient wife of some other stupid man — some deformed ogre who holds his power with one hand and his manhood in the other!”

“Don’t say that, Your Highness! Your father may marry you off to Curian, the crown prince of Sundale — they say he is quite a catch!”

“Quite a catch if all you are interested in is a pretty face! I understand he can’t even read.”

“Even better.... He will be dependent upon you, and you will be the power behind the throne. And even if your father chooses Prince Norloch of Upland.... He may not be the most handsome, but you can rule the land from his bedchambers; I’ve seen the way he looks at you during the state visits, and you already have his balls in your hand.”

“I shouldn’t have to rule ‘behind the throne’ or from my husband’s bedchambers; I should be allowed to wear the crown myself. Besides, I could no more spread my legs for that beast Norloch. He is an ogre, I tell you!”

“Just keep your eyes closed — they all look alike in the dark! And you could do worse than an ogre; they say an ogre’s manhood is the size of a human leg, and they are insatiable!”

The women burst into giggles for a moment, easing the tension.

“I think I’d settle for an ogre before I would take Norloch, though. He is repugnant. But alas, what’s the point of discussing it? It’s not as if I will even he asked my opinion. All Father is concerned about is preserving the peace, and if that means condemning his firstborn to a life of misery, so be it!”

Adella hears no response from her lady in waiting and turns to her, once again seeing her looking out the window. “Courtney, what on earth do you find so interesting?” She follows her gaze out the window and sees a young man in the courtyard, preparing the horse-driven carriage that is awaiting its occupants.

“The stable boy? Horace is his name, isn’t it? Is he the reason you can’t stay focused this morning?”

Courtney blushes and smiles. “I’m sorry, Ma’am. But yes, he is a wee bit distracting, isn’t he?”

Adella looks at him for a few moments and agrees. “Very nice. He is quite — healthy.”

Again, the ladies burst out giggling.

“His name is Horace, but everyone calls him Horse,” says Courtney.

“Because he works with horses?”

“No.... It’s because he is very much like one — at least in terms of what he has between his legs!”

Adella draws back in shocked laughter, covering her mouth. “Oh my! And where did you learn this little tidbit? I don’t recall seeing any mention of his endowment on the society page of the paper!”

“May I tell you a secret, Ma’am? Well, you remember a couple of weeks ago when I was having such difficulty walking?”

“Yes. You said you hurt yourself while horseback riding.”

“Actually, what I said was that I hurt myself while riding Horse.”

As the words sink in, Adella bursts out laughing. “You didn’t?”

Courtney, smiles and nods. “A few times — and actually, this morning, to be honest.”

Adella gasps and bursts out in laughter. “This morning?”

Courtney giggles. “Just a quick romp in the stables before I began my duties. He is not very bright, but he is very susceptible to feminine charms. Just ask some of the girls in the kitchen. And he is well named. If he were any bigger, he’d be called ‘Ogre.’”

“Well, the way priorities are in this land, I’m surprised Horace isn’t next in line to the throne. He seems better qualified than my brothers in the only thing that really matters here.”

“Don’t sell your brothers short — at least not Prince Stewart. It’s not a mere dagger he has between his legs.”

“Courtney! Are you speaking this from personal knowledge?”

She blushes and says, “Well, after all, Ma’am... The Crown Prince! I could hardly refuse, could I?”

Adella returns to her grooming and says, “There again is the unfairness! My brothers whore their ways across the kingdom, and it’s all perfectly acceptable, but because I am a princess, I am expected to remain pure so I can be that much more valuable a prize to whomever my father gives me to! If I were a man, I could do what I want. If I were but a commoner, I, too, could have fun and live life to the fullest, but because of the curse of my birth, none of that is available to me!”

“I do weep for you, my princess,” says her friend. “There isn’t a male in the realm who wouldn’t fall for your beauty and grace; it is a shame you can’t know the joy of being pursued and deciding when to submit to the chase.”

“Or to do a little chasing myself,” says the princess, letting her gaze fall down to Horace.

Just then there is a sound in the courtyard, and the ladies look and see Prince Duncan emerge from the castle with two young women. They are laughing and oblivious to the gaze of the princess. Duncan helps the ladies into the carriage and gives instructions to Horace, who mounts the carriage and drives away.

“You see,” says Adella, waving at the scene. “No doubt my brother ‘entertained’ those wenches all night and has no intention of ever seeing them again. Not only is it permissible, but he can even use the royal chariot and horses to send them away. If I did something like that, I would be branded as a whore and a disgrace to the crown!”

The women continue in silence for some time until Courtney says, “You need some time away from the castle, and I have just the idea!”