Play it safe - scope out the cemetery first!

Texas was handy with a six shooter, but her guns weren’t intent on blazing until she knew the odds.

And she was right. As Texas swiveled around the scene, crawling from grave to grave, it became apparent that Roxxie had come with a posse.

Some of them were standing to the sides, their pale rat and wolf faces looking like they were holding in the urge to vomit, their shovels quivering in their paws. As for the others, well - they were down under.

Roxxie had stuffed a handful of her no-good grave robbing crew into the useless hole they had dug, then filled it to the brim with her oversized kangaroo ass. Mud was splattering in every direction as her weight pounded the earth into the shape of her wide cheeks. Her top half was sinking further down as every jiggly bounce **** the hole to grow in every direction.

A bead of sweat rolled down Texas’s forehead. The sheriff wondered why the gigantic crook didn’t just dig every hole with her butt - it sure was wider than any shovel head. The sheriff felt a rare pang of sympathy for the crooks buried beneath it - sure, they were criminals, but it was hard to imagine any one who deserved to be sat on by THAT.

“You there!” Roxxie called to one of the thugs still above ground. “Run into town and get me somethin’ to eat! The rest of you, fan out and start snoopin’ for that stupid ancient tomb! If I don’t have some kinda priceless artifact in my paws in the next hour, you’re ALL going in the hole!”

“MMMMMMMPH!” Splat.

As the un-flattened members of Roxxie’s posse turned their lantern lights to the darkness and departed in different directions, Texas squatted in a bush and contemplated her next move. She didn’t want to catch the eye of a patrol.