An answer

You must have been on the express prayer list as you hear a scream from a nearby alley. You know you just asked for an opportunity, but you rather not get involved with anything that doesn't concern you. Jobless people roaming around aimlessly on a Saturday? There was bound to be one or two cases of harassment. But for some reason, you feel compelled to at the very least check it out. You locate the alley quite easily, you know, with all the screaming and whatnot, and walk in. As you enter, you spot two intoxicated looking gentlemen being quite handsy with some seemingly as intoxicated looking woman, who doesn't seem as into it as the two others. You know, with all the screaming and whatnot.

You clear your throat and begin making your way towards the three of them who turn to look at you. You don't know what you planned on accomplishing here, but you decide to go with the flow. What's the worse that could happen?

You speak up, "Hello, not to pry, but I heard some pretty alarming noises coming from this here alley, so uhh I just came to see if you guys needed anything."

The men blink.

You try to take an aloof and drunk air, which isn't too hard since you're still feeling the effects of the drinks you had earlier. You inch your way towards them, trying to appear as friendly as possible, but after just a few steps, one of them pulls out a 1911 on you while the other backs up, grabbing the girl with one arm and putting a knife to her throat with the other. 0 to 100 real quick huh?

"Nah, I think we're good, feel free to move along though." The man pointing a gun at you says, motioning towards the alley exit.

Welp, he's got a gun, this is officially not your problem anymore. Hey, at least you tried, that's your good action for the day, right? You chuckle nervously and look at your watch. You then quickly remember you don't own a watch and quickly feign as if you were admiring your wrist.

"Well, would you look at the time, it's getting quite late, and I think we've all learned important lessons today, so I'll just get going and leave you three to it."

You turn to make your graceful exit, but before you can leave towards the safety of the open street, one of the men calls out to you. "Hold on a minute, why do you look so familiar... hey aren't you that Doe fella? You are, aren't you? Man compared to the journals I saw a few years back you look like shit!"

The other man pipes up, "Oh yeah! I remember the Don telling us a story about how you cheated him out at poker at one of your parties. How about you come with us, huh? I'm sure he would get a kick outta this."

The Don? Poker game? You've played many games of poker, but you don't remember ever playing against someone who goes by the Don. Hmm, that might be something worth looking into later. But for now, you gotta find a way out of this mess.

"I'm flattered fellas I truly am, but-"

He cuts you off, "Ah don't worry about it," he says with a smile as he puts his arm around you holding you in place, firmly. "we weren't offering."

Great, you think to yourself. I somehow got involved with the mafia.

Express list my ass.