Kiernan Shipka becomes first celebrity to participate in Double Anal Stars Championship

Kiernan Shipka rocked Hollywood by becoming the first professional actress to take part in the annual Double Anal Stars Championship in Hackensack, New Jersey. Featuring as contestant #24, Shipka smiled and posed topless for her portrait shot, her sexy tan lines drawing attention to her feminine assets and delectable nipples. Her choice of black stockings and teasing pull of her panties complete her debut step into porn.

Held every 2 years since 1966, the Double Anal Stars Championship is well-known for both its brutality and as a platform for aspiring pornstars to launch their career. The rules are simple: two girls compete against each other head-to-head, where they will endure the ordeal of having their asshole stretched by two cocks simultaneously in a vicious anal sex session. The first girl to tap her palm against the mat 3 times in succession as a sign of surrender loses. If both girls do not surrender before their male torturers ejaculate, the match goes into extra time, where a new set of guys take their colleagues’ place to obliterate the poor girls’ anuses. The match only ends when one girl surrenders. The winner advances to the next round.

The brutality is not only as such. The tournament features 128 girls, of which 32 are seeded based on performance in previous editions, which means you have to win 7 successive rounds to be crowned champion. And that is only if you are seeded. The 2018 champion, Gabbie Carter, who was only 18 years old at that time, was a nobody and had to fight through 6 rounds of preliminaries to get into the main draw. Despite all these, the championship attracts thousands of girls from all over the country every year, just for a shot at the big prize: $3 million dollars in cash and a lucrative 5-year contract with one of the sponsoring porn agencies. Gabbie Carter’s triumph in 2018 is an inspiration to them all; 13 rounds and a destroyed asshole later, she is now raking in the riches and her nudes and videos are a staple in the phones and computers of all males.

Perhaps that was what’s going through Shipka’s mind when she decided to sign up. We see below that she daringly posted a nude photo of herself on Snapchat right before her first preliminary round, her hands strategically shielding her nipples but revealing substantial amounts of aureole. There are also visible streaks of semen on her bare chest, which CNN has confirmed to belong to her agent, who convinced Shipka that a “warm-up round” would do her good. In the background, we see one of the male performers getting ready to demolish Shipka's ass.

Surprisingly (or not?), first-time contestant Shipka defeated her opponent, pornstar Angel Smalls, who also crashed out at the first hurdle 2 years ago. Shipka gave a fabulous performance as she screamed “I’M CUMMING!!!” repeatedly at the top of her voice while squirting huge waves of female juices out of her pussy. One of the commentators remarked that Shipka “screams and squirts as well as the next pornstar” before his partner rebutted with “that’s not true; her opponent is pathetic”. Indeed, while Shipka smiled confidently for the cameras as 2 huge cocks penetrated her asshole, Smalls was in tears throughout and surrendered after only 3 minutes and 47 seconds – the 2nd fastest at the games. (The record holder is also Smalls, 2 years ago, with 3:09.) CNN has unearthed that Smalls was in fact unwilling to participate, but forc*d to do so after her agency threatened to punish her with 6 hours of non-stop double anal and then terminate her contract. After such a dismal performance, Smalls’ agency is likely to still follow through with the threat.

After her momentous victory, Shipka was invited onto Fox & Friends, where she was interviewed by actress-turned-naked-host Isabela Moner on her experience. We see both of them covered in the traditional pre-show semen shower from the production crew, and Moner is laughing her head off after showing the Google Search autofill results to Shipka, which has predictably changed to reflect her latest sexual escapades. We produce the interview transcript in full below.

Moner: So, Kiernan, tell us why you decided to enter the championship.

Shipka: Well, my acting career is going nowhere, so I thought, why not give porn a try? It might reignite my fame and revive my career. Besides, I enjoy double anal.

Moner: You have done it before?

Shipka: Sure, I celebrated my 18th birthday by doing double anal with all my male classmates. It is not unchartered territory for me.

Moner: Wow…that is incredible. So you are confident of your chances?

Shipka: I don’t wanna brag, but I mean, just look at the facts. I came like a hose yesterday, while most of the girls are just struggling to cope with the pain. I think it’s not too much to say I have a hand on the trophy.

Moner: Impressive. So if you do eventually win, you will convert into a pornstar?

Shipka: Why not? There’s nothing to be ashamed about, honestly. Being a pornstar is one of the most noble and awesome jobs around – you get to serve men, and in an enjoyable way!

Moner: I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for your time, and I wish you good luck!

Shipka: Thank you!