A Summer With Uncle (Originally by Lord of the Pies on Writing.Com)

Kyle and Sam Gladstone were sitting in the backseat of a very fancy limousine. Having just been picked up from the airport, they were both jet lagged and rather worn out. Not that it stopped them from exploring all the cool features of what was easily the fanciest car they had ever been in. From the mini-fridge to the massaging seats, they tried everything. The driver didn't care, he was separated by a partition and couldn't see or hear them. Finally tiring of the gadgetry, they sat back in their seats. Kyle took a cola from the fridge, and his brother followed suit.

"So," said Sam, breaking the silence as he cracked open his cola, "What's with the limo?"

"You got me." answered Kyle with a shrug, "I know Uncle Mark's pretty well off. Maybe he splurged a bit cause he wants to make a good first impression since he hasn't seen us since we were toddlers?"

"And what's with us having to come all the way cross-country anyways? Why couldn't we go to the ski resort for the summer with Mom and Megan? How come while they're off in Europe we have to spend the summer with some relative we barely remember?"

"You heard Mom just like I did," snapped his brother, tired of the oft repeated question, "He asked for us to come visit. Aunt Mary and our cousins are on a cruise, so he had the house empty. And in some sort of mid-life realization thing, he decided that he needed to get to know us better since he's got no sons of his own. He even paid for the plane tickets."

Not having really expected a different answer, Sam sat back and drank some of his cola. Both brothers sat silently for a bit before Sam commented,

"Mind you, that plane ride was kinda strange. Everyone I met was acting really weird."

Kyle half-choked on his drink, sputtering as he held back a laugh. He composed himself and set his face in a faint, but smug, smirk.

Sam fixed him with a steely gaze.

"What. Did. You. Do."

At this point, some background would probably be useful. Kyle and Sam were average brothers. They played and fought like normal boys. The only really different thing was their never ending prank war. Sure most brothers will pull pranks every now and again, but their war had been going on for years. Though both were tech whizs, most of their pranks were effective in their simplicity. Each prank didn't really have to top the last, no, these boys went for subtlety. Adding glitter to bodywash so one brother came out sparkling like a romanticized vampire. Cutting apart a swimsuit and resewing it with water soluble thread. Putting a hot dog inside the hollow bars of a bicycle so it mysteriously stinks for weeks on end. Sam, in fact, had recently gotten his brother by adding some stitching to the back of Kyle's shirt so it looked like he was wearing a bra underneath. Kyle had yet to get him back.

"Tell me." Demanded Sam, "Tell me what you did!"

Kyle smirked in response.

"Wouldn't you like to know..."

"Kyle, tell me now or so help me I will coat your laptop's hard drive in magnets!"

"You wouldn't!" gasped Kyle, who loved his laptop like his own son.

"...Neodymium magnets." threatened Sam coldly.

"Alright, alright! Sheesh, if you want to know that badly."

"I do. Now spill it."

Kyle sighed, his internal joy at Sam's obliviousness to knowing he'd been pranked was fading.

"Fine. Just keep your magnets to yourself. You know that time you went to the bathroom for ages at the beginning of the flight? Well, while you were gone I told everyone, nearby passengers, flight attendants, random people walking by, everyone that you... uh..."

He paused, savoring the last moments as he held his brother in panicked distress.

"You told them what?!" Sam sputtered, the suspense **** him.

"...that you were a pre-op transsexual going to California for your gender reassignment surgery, and that they should treat you as a normal girl, since you're very sensitive about the issue and are slightly mentally imbalanced!"

Kyle said his line quickly in one breath, hoping to catch all of Sam's reaction in a single expression. It succeeded. Sam was dumbstruck, his face contorting between anger, horror, fury, embarrassment, rage, and several other unnamed emotions within seconds. Finally, he managed to speak.

"I'm going to kill you."

He said it calmly, as if merely commenting on the weather. "No seriously, I'm going to go into your room, and smother you with a pillow. Made of spikes. And fire. Dipped in poison. Then I'm going to cut your body into pieces, bake you into pies, and sell you to everyone on that plane."

Both brothers stared at each other for a long moment, then burst out laughing. Sam was actually still angry that he'd been had, but he tucked that anger away. Later, he'd use it to find the perfect opportunity to create a hopefully ironic ****. The irony wasn't really necessary, but it would make it so much sweeter.

As they laughed, they felt the limo slow to a stop. The windows were heavily tinted and had fancy curtains on them, so neither boy had bothered looking out. The limo stopped and shut off. They heard the driver get out and come around to their door. He opened it and Sam hopped out. Kyle shuffled across to that side and climbed out as well. In front of them was...