A Little Fine Dining...

"So you don't have magic, but you also totally do?"

Fay takes a moment to formulate her response, indulging in a thoughtful sip of her mango lassi. Meanwhile, you marvel anew at the sheer insanity of You, Alexander Grant, sharing what can only be called an intimate dinner date with a girl this goddamn hot. You've been on dates before. You've had serious girlfriends before! And they were all perfectly lovely girls, in an entirely reasonable sort of way. Frankly, if one wanted to get technical about it, all of them were probably at least a little out of your league given that you existed as the masculine average personified.

But Fay is an entirely different level. And she's clearly caught you staring, given the way her lips give a teasing little quirk before she decides on an answer. "It's sort of hard to explain. I'm a magical being, and I've got qualities that definitely would be considered supernatural, but I don't, like, cast spells. I can't fly around on a broom or grant wishes or whatever."

You consider that as Fay swipes the last bit of naan through the remains of the chana masala, all but shivering in delight as she savors the richly seasoned curry. "What about all that business with, you know, being a rock and stuff?"

The girl shrugs around another sip of her drink. "That's more like being a conduit for magic. Once Statue Me has christened the Chosen Dick, that's pretty much the end of my magical duties. I can tone myself down a bit to blend in,"--she indicates her pinned-back hair, currently shifted from forest green to an ebony black, and her normally flickering solar eyes, now a gorgeous but entirely plausible golden-green--"Just in case I wake up somewhere that has lax requirements on what gets a girl burned to ****. But besides that, not much else."

"I had sort of figured the way you caught on to the modern world so fast was some sort of magic, too."

Fay grins at that, giving you an appreciative once over. She does that a lot. "You're smart. Yeah, this all wouldn't have worked if I woke up screaming about your cock in Welsh or whatever, then spent an hour trying to free the tiny people inside the TV. It's not something I'm doing actively; whenever I find something new that I'm interested in, I just sorta get the Wikipedia version of it uploaded to my brain. So sure, I can't cast spells. But I was able to get on Instagram! Speaking of which!"

She slips around to your side of the table, snuggling up against you as she lifts her phone and starts snapping photos. "I'm going to be an influencer. Which is a real job that really exists, which is hilarious and insane and the best."

God, the two of you really do look for all the world like a trendy, egregiously attractive couple out on a date. Which you suppose you are. "How does all that work out? I mean, was a built in cheat sheet that really enough to make due the other times this happened?"

Fay shrugs again as she drops the phone to her side and tilts her head back, blinking at you upside-down. "Sure. I mean, those other times I just sort of crowned the dude and then went back to sleep."

You raise your eyebrows at that. "Wait, really? You didn't stick around?"

"Nah. There used to be a waaay bigger fuss about this back in the day. By the time I'd done my thing, the guy was already drowning in pussy. Literally, one time. He actually drowned in pussy." Her eyes glimmer at that as she twists around, pressing herself against your chest as she starts playing with your tie. "What about you, hmm~? It's been almost a whole day. Have any lovely ladies presented themselves?"

"Lovelier than you? Impossible."

Fay gives you a little mock smack under the chin, though you can tell she's deeply pleased. "You know what I meant, babe."

You chuckle, feeling yourself flush a little in spite of everything. "Well, I, uh, did get a girl's number. When I was leaving work."

Fay stares at you for a moment, clearly expecting more, then lets out a delighted peal of lilting laughter when no juicer details follow. "Oh my God, that's all? You are such a fucking sweetheart. It's almost irritating; you're like a big hunky marshmallow."

"You love it."

The girl's mouth twists in another little smile as she gives you a quick little kiss. "Maybe." She pulls you down by the tie into a longer kiss, the part of you that would normally be absolutely mortified over such a public display of affection absolutely unable to muster any sort of defense. At length she pulls back, slightly breathless. "There is one thing I know that I definitely didn't need magic to figure out."

"What's that?"

"That I'm gonna have your dick inside of me ten minutes from now, regardless of where we happen to be at the time."

You clear your throat, feeling the flush rising again in your cheeks as you flag down your waitress. "Check please?"