Joey plays Axe Raider with Ties of the Brethren

"You know him, the ultra-rare card, Axe Raida!" Joey announced, grinning his he placed the functionally outdated card upon the board. Sure enough, a hulking, sweaty barbarian in a helmet and loincloth appeared, wielding a one-handed battleaxe.

"What a lame opening move..." Mai chuckled, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "Have you gotten any stronger at all, Joey?"

"Now waaait just a minute 'dere, sis. I got a few more tricks up my sleeve! Check dis out: Ties of the Brethren!" he continued, placing the spell card face up. "It allows me to pay 2000 life points to special summon two more level 4 earth monsters from my deck! Whaddya say if we add Goblin Attack **** and Exiled **** to da mix?!" Grinning ear to ear, he reached into his deck and pulled out two more monster cards to place upon the field.

Mai grimaced, watching as the field filled up with more stinking warrior monsters, all brandishing their various medieval weaponry and grinning. Wait... stinking? "Joey, I can smell your warriors!" Mai pointed out, backing slightly away from the field.

"Eeey, dat ain't called for, Mai! If you're gonna be like that, maybe I smell some fried chicken when I roast ya harpies in dis duel! Heh heeh..." Joey played along, seeming not to realize that the monsters were all adopting very real, lifelike traits that they wouldn't normally, even as holograms. "Ya got any idea what to do against a field like dis? I'll make it even worse: I'm gonna place a face-down card, before I end my turn!"

Nervously, Mai drew her next card. While Axe Raider stood with a resolute frown, the others were watching her with hungry eyes, licking their weapons and snickering. It seemed like a pretty tasteless thing for anybody to program card images to do... which reinforced her idea that they weren't digital at all. "If you're going to be like that, then I'll have to play dirty too. I play Harpie Lady, then use Elegant Egotist! Harpie Lady Sisters, come to the field!" she shouted, placing the cards in sequence. As the monsters arose, she reflected how similar their clothing looked to her own... Though, they were slightly different, in that they all came armored at least. She wouldn't mind having some armor of her own...

"Harpie Lady will make quick work of your Exiled ****. You were a real moron to play that before I even summoned my first monster," she sighed, shaking her head and pressing two fingers to her cheek. "Now, attack, Harpie Lady!"

"I saw dat comin'! It's Graceful Dice time! Let's see what I roll!" Joey announced, flipping his quick-play spell card. "Aaaw, dang it! Only got a 4! Both of our monsters are ancient history!" he swore, apparently counting on a five or six. The harpy jumped into the Exiled **** who... seemed to surround her, grabbing onto various parts of her. Before anything specific could happen, they both burst, destroyed by the attack.

Mai winced; losing her harpy had put her at a disadvantage and the image she'd seen wasn't promising either. "Don't get full of yourself... I can still destroy your Axe Raider! Harpie Lady Sisters, attack!" she continued, launching an attack with her more powerful card. The sisters swooped in on Axe Raider, surrounded him... then tore off his loincloth. She watched in alarm as the sisters alternated tongue-kissing him, fondling his member, and even stroking his ass from behind. The monster seemed almost as surprised as he did and was quickly disarmed. As one harpy's tongue disappeared down his throat, and another talon's stroked his shaft, it wasn't long, before he released his load, moaning disgracefully as he vanished. One of the sisters cackled, licking the semen that was left behind on her hand. "Joey! What the hell?!" Mai gasped, unable to understand why the attack had played out like a smut film.

"Heh, I don't t'ink you should be gettin' too high and mighty right now, Mai," Joey smirked; it wasn't clear if he'd seen the strange scene play out or not, but if he had, he seemed remarkably unaffected by it. "Goblin Attack **** has got more attack than ya sistahs over 'dere!"

"And I don't think you should be thinking about duels at a time like this!" Mai protested with mounting frustration. "Your Axe Raider just got jacked off to ****!"

"Woah woah woooah, what game you playin, Mai? Duel Monsters is about duelin', got it? Get ya mind out the gutter!" Joey laughed, appreciating what he took to be a raunchy joke. "Sheesh, ya always playin' all them sexy cards, I guess it gets to ya, huh?"

Mai didn't understand why she couldn't get through to Joey, but she knew one thing: she didn't want to see what happened when the monsters started attacking her directly, instead of attacking each other. To be safe, she set Windstorm of Etaqua and Shadow of Eyes on the field... this should buy her some extra time against his monsters. All she needed was to wait until Joey attacked; then, she could switch his monsters into defense position and keep them there while she decided what to do.

Joey drew his next card, then looked at the field thoughtfully, as if trying to decide whether now was the time to let loose or not...