Ask if he’s seeing anyone

“So…” you begin, obviously nervous. “Are you… seeing anyone these days, Dan?”

He chuckles, “No, no I’m not. I’m not as lucky as you, I guess.”

“I’m not as lucky as you might think,” you say, drifting off.

“What do you mean?” he asks. “I always thought you and John were really happy together? You seem like it in all those sappy Facebook posts.”

You feel a small tinge of embarrassment at the thought of the cheesiness of all those posts. “I mean, yeah,” you admit, “We’re happy together. He makes me happy. I love being with him.”

“Exactly,” Dan says. “And that makes you luckier than most people, even people in relationships.”

“But…” you begin. “Just… agh, nevermind. You wouldn’t get it.”

“No, what is it?” he asks, seemingly genuinely interested. “Try me.”

“There’s just… certain things I wish he would do differently, I guess,” you explain.

“So… sexual, I’m guessing?” he ventures.

You blush furiously and turn away. You can’t believe you’re confiding in Dan of all people about this. You turn back to him, your hair covering your face shyly.

“Yeah,” you finally admit. “Yeah, sexual things. Yeah, he loves me and respects me, and that’s great and all. But I wish, you know, in the bedroom, he could turn that off. The respect and the love, I mean. He’s a sensual lover, and I know some girls would kill for that kind of thing, but…”

“But, you like it rough, huh?” he says, matter of factly.

You hesitate. “Yeah. I like it rough. And degrading. I want to be treated like a whore. Not like some princess. I want him to **** me and spit on me and call me a slut. Dirty stuff.” You blush, your heart racing at the thought of him hearing you say such nasty things. You imagine he’s probably disgusted to hear you talk like this. The silence before he responds is killing you.

“I can understand that,” he says, “You need someone sexually compatible, who is willing to push your sexual boundaries with you.”

“Exactly!” you say. “And I just wish he was that kind of guy, but… oh well. I love him. I guess I just have to accept that he’s not into that sort of thing.”

You sit in silence for a few moments, trying to come up with something to say that will cut the tension you’ve just created with your frivolous oversharing. You look to Dan, and he makes eye contact with you, giving you a look that conveys sympathy. But underneath that sympathy, you suspect there’s something deeper, something more primal. You see lust in his eyes, as if he’s ready to satisfy the parts of your hungry sexuality that your boyfriend is simply incapable of.

There’s always been something of an unspoken attraction between you and Dan, and you feel as if now might be your only chance to address it and clear the air. Otherwise you might forever wonder what might have been.