Insult Arthur

“Hey, need a metal rod, Arthur?” you call out.

“So that I can… shove it up my ass? Not even slightly… original,” Arthur replies. His breaths come out as ragged gasps now, and it looks like he’s really struggling to keep up.

“Nah, I just figured it was the only thing that could keep your posture from sagging,” you say. “But hey, I won’t judge if you’d rather take it up the butt.”

The girls giggle, and you grin at them. “How much farther are the two of you planning to run?” you ask.

“A couple more laps,” the first twin says. “Want to keep pace?”

“Sure, let’s pick it up a little then,” you say, accelerating. The twins follow close behind you, but Arthur, red-faced and almost heaving as he’s running, only manages to stay with you for a dozen seconds or so before he begins to lag behind.

“You going to take a break Arthur?” you ask him, trying to sound as sincere as possible. “Don’t press yourself too hard!”

“Just having an off day,” he wheezes. “I’d outrun you any other day of the week.”

“Oh great, when do you want to run next? Maybe you girls would be interested in joining?”

“What do you think, Katie?” one of the twins says.

“Four’s a crowd. I’d only do it if that guy behind us doesn’t join, Khloe,” Katie replies.

“How could you be so rude?” Khloe says, acting mock-affronted with her hand covering her mouth and eyes going wide.

“Hey, it’s Alex right? You were at tryouts yesterday?” Katie asks.

“Yeah,” you respond, struggling to keep your eyes away from the twin heaving chests. You mostly fail, and steal a look at those jiggling breasts, watching that magical bounce for a fraction of second. “You both played well - you should have a solid chance of making the team.”

“Are you kidding me?” Khloe asks.

“What Khloe means to say is, you put everyone else on the pitch to shame yesterday,” Katie says.

“So why aren’t you headed for varsity?” Khloe asks, completing the thought.

“I was in the hospital these last two weeks, and coach didn’t take too kindly to a walk-on missing any of the tryouts,” you say. “I’ll get it next year.”

“Gotta love Coach Warren,” Katie says.

“He gave us Charlie last year ‘cause he what, talked back at him?” Khloe says.

“Yep, his chances at varsity evaporated just like that. And Charlie was our second top scorer, right behind Daphne,” Katie says.

“Oh, so the two of you are sophomores?” you ask.

“Don’t you know, it’s rude to ask a lady her age?” Khloe says.

“Yeah, we’re sophomores,” Katie says, gently ribbing Khloe. You watch her elbow sink into Khloe’s voluminous chest, still bouncing by the way, and for a moment are distracted from the outside world, before the flow of conversation continues.

Although running is usually fairly boring to you, getting to talk to these attractive twins is plenty engaging (maybe a little too engaging, as you drift a little whenever your gaze wanders south), and before you know it, you’re back in the changing room, getting ready for class.

Arthur -20
Katie +10
Khloe +10