You get a call from Sophia.

Just as you finish stuffing your turkey and loading it in the oven, your music gets interrupted as your phone starts to vibrate. You can see it's from Sophia and already you realize it's going to be a pain. She tells you that Emma got caught giving a handjob to a mall Santa and got them both thrown out. She thinks that Emma might be sick or having a breakdown, and she's in the middle of driving her home and giving you a heads up. You couldn't care less about Sophia's discomfort right now, you just need to keep Emma occupied for another hour or two. You can overhear through Sophia's phone that Emma is giving her some sass back.

"I wasn't going to fuck him right there in the big chair, I was just trying to get him to one of the bathrooms!" you can faintly hear Emma complain. Sophia keeps talking while you search the fridge for whipping cream.

"Emma, you're getting really out of control and I think you need some time to cool off. Maybe see a therapist or something? Look, I don't have time for this right now, okay?"Sophia is in over her head, and you don't blame her for getting a little peeved, but you're so close to pulling off this incestuous Christmas dinner party that you can almost taste it. You decide it's time for drastic measures. Sophia is really rambling now, clearly a bit frazzled by the whole experience.

"She had already started hiking up her skirt, John, she's not even wearing panties! Did you know that? Did you know any of this?"

"Okay, Sophia, could you please just pull over for a second, and put Emma on speakerphone? Let's just talk this out first and see what's going on." You put on your best stoic, concerned voice. You hear the sound of Sophia pulling over onto the gravel shoulder, and the engine switching off. Everyone's coming through much clearer now. You decide not to waste any time and start spinning up a story for Sophia.

"I'll come clean with you here, Sophia. Emma has had some trouble controlling her urges lately, like you've seen, and I thought that since you're so reserved and virginal that you'd be able to hem her in a bit. I should have told you, but I thought that if you knew, you'd say no. And I thought you were the only one who could help me." You lie through your teeth as you take a pot of boiling sweet potatoes off the burner. Sophia and Emma try to respond over each other before Sophia takes the reigns. She's not exactly pleased with your excuse.

"That's really dishonest, John, I can't believe you'd use me like that, especially with my best friend feeling under the weather. And what is that about 'virginal', what are you trying to say about me?"

"He's saying you don't fuck enough men, that you're a repressed little girl." Emma is getting snippy and you're running out of patience. "He probably set you up with me so I could set a better example for you."

"By trying to fuck a mall Santa while the elves watch? Emma, you need help!"

"I think you need help, Sophia. John loves the way I act, he supports me!"

"I support you, too, but I don't want to be friends with an out-of-control slut, Emma. What's happened to you?"

"I'm being honest with myself about what I want, why can't you just follow my lead for once? I always thought you were cute, you know, but you never let me get close." Emma is going to a very real place very fast. "What if I just told you that I wanted to have a good time with you today and instead we're having a fight because you're afraid of your own sexiness?" Sophia is silent, stunned. You can hear her start to take deep breaths. She's sobbing softly. Emma hit her weak spot. She has too much shame about herself. You can hear the tone shift in an instant. Instead of fighting, now Emma is trying to console her best friend since middle school, trying to make her feel alright.

"Hey, girls," you softly re-enter the conversation, "can you just kiss and make up?" That does the trick. A quick peck turns into a longer kiss, and you can hear the soft moans through your speaker. Emma gently offers to help Sophia come out of her shell a bit, asking if she's ever been with a girl before. It's so touching you can almost feel yourself giving a crap. The ladies lock lips again as you hear the sound of a jacket unzipping and shifting fabrics. As you finish the dinner, you're treated to the loving sounds of two childhood friends exploring each other's bodies in a cramped car.

Emma slowly undresses Sophia one layer at a time, letting their friendship surge back through and evolve into something deeper and more physical. Sumptuous slavering sounds reach your ears as Emma finally digs into Sophia's tempting rack, and the ladies move on to lessons in cunnilingus not long after. You just wish you weren't busy or you'd fix yourself a drink and ask for a video call.

Easy as pie. Speaking of, the whipped cream is done and ready to get spread. By the time the evening is over, you expect that more of this whipped cream will end up on Emma's tits than on the pie. You're even thinking of inviting Sophia for dessert.