Light up her cigar!

Being a corteous kid, you pull out a cigarette lighter, and she puffs out, with apparent satisfaction, a cloud of stinking smoke at your face. You cough up, discretly.
"You've been charged of... vandalism, attempting ****, and numerous affairs, boy.", she sucks at the big cig. She slowly pulls her long legs apart.
"Ma'm, I could never..."
"Oh, could you? I don't even see how you could even please a woman!", the synthetic blonde laughs heartily.
"Well, mrs Lawyer, I could...