Take a walk

You come to the realization that you have no idea where to look. You decide to take a walk at a nearby park.

You curse the weather. You couldn’t imagine worse weather for a walk. The sun is shining and it’s seventy degrees and comfortable. Even the birds chirp away happily. You wish you had a slingshot or B.B. gun.

You turn. Your eyes light up. Today just got better. Sitting on a park bench is your third sacrifice. She is sexy, sweet, and stinks of innocence.

You saunter up and sit next to her.

“Hi, my name is Sharon.”

“Hi Sharon, I’m Gloria. I love your dress. Is that a goat? I like, love goats.”

You look down at the goats head within a pentagram on your dress. Not only is she innocent and blonde, with large perky breasts, she’s dumber than a summer squash.

“Me too.” You lie. “I have two as pets, Billy and Wendal.”

You hope she doesn’t want see your goats.

“Like, Wow, That is so cool.”

“We have so much in common. Want to go grab a coffee. I’m buying.”

“That would be, like so cool.”

You head over to The Coffeeshop. You are disappointed Kerry is off. Still the coffee is good. You sit with Gloria and talk for hours. By the end you feel comatose.

“I had such a good time, Gloria I want us to be BFF’s.”

“Like, me to.”

“Can I get your phone number?”

“Of course. Anything for my new BFF.”

She gives you her phone number. As you walk out, you wave and blow her a kiss. She pretends to catch it. You somehow manage to avoid wretching. Now all you have to do is get her to the mansion.