Truth!

“I’m ready to tell y’all the truth,” Dinah responds. “Remember, one question only.”

“Okay,” Angelica says agreeably. “That’s fine, because I only have one. What’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever painted?”

“Oh, that’s an easy one, but it’s one with a story behind it,” says the blonde. “Mind if I get a little melodramatic?”

“Dinah, if I cared at all about my colleagues being overly melodramatic, do you think I’d be here?” you ask her rhetorically.

“Fair enough,” she says with a laugh, then jumps up on the (thankfully quite sturdy) table as if it’s a stage. “It’s important for y’all to know,” she says, dropping her voice into a dramatic narrator’s cadence, “that I almost never paint sexual pictures. Even when I paint matches, I show the beginning when the fighters are squaring off or shaking hands, or the end when one of them has already won. But I’ve made one exception to that rule.

“It was years ago, when I’d first gotten into the League—before I’d even gotten the Cowgirl gimmick. I was as much of a rookie as John and Melody are now. One day, the news started circling that someone had challenged the Champion to a title match. Now, this was even more surprising than usual, because he’d taken on all comers ever since the last Champion retired, and the new challenger was pretty much unknown—the woman didn’t even have a gimmick yet, for chrissake. So naturally, pretty much everyone turned out to watch, wondering why this bottom-carder thought she had the chops to take on the reigning champ.

“She destroyed him. Completely and totally. The poor man didn’t have a chance—I don’t think he even scored so much as a single point the whole damn match. And when she was finished with him, she threw him down to the canvas like a rag doll and smothered him out with her pussy.

“The first thing I did was go back to my dressing room, get out my art supplies, and paint the most vivid picture I could of that facesit. The second thing I did was make a promise to myself that I would start training and I wouldn’t stop until I could reach that level of pure dominance. I think after all this time, I’m still not there.”

“She is pretty amazing, isn’t she?” says Melody dreamily.

“Hell yeah she is,” affirms Dinah. “If there’s a person out there who can knock her off that throne, I don’t think I’ve met them yet.”

You decide not to debate that assertion as Dinah casts around for the next player.