Defiance

"You know not of what you speak, child," Lolth said, but there was a quaver below Her words. Fear? Surely not. She was a Goddess. Teysa was in the heart of Her domain.

All the same, there it was. Her denial was feeble. Teysa pressed on, feeling her anger mount.

"You could have saved me the way You saved Aliara. But You didn't, did You? You turned me into this... this beast. You didn't want me leaving the Underneath, not while You still have errands for me. So You made it impossible."

"I saved your life!" Lolth said. Her voice was high and shrill.

"In exchange for what?" Teysa demanded. "Service? You think that this puts me in Your debt? I did not ask You to save me. You offered. I should have know Your gifts come with strings attached."

"The Matron turned you," Lolth protested. "She has wanted to ever since you defeated your companion in the arena. She saw your strength and thought you would be a good addition to her warren."

"And did You whisper in her ear, I wonder?" Teysa asked, knowing from Lolth's flinch that she was correct. "Did You plant the idea in her head? Did You watch over me as I convalesced, making sure that everything would turn out the way You planned? This is all so convenient for You. How far back does it go? How much was Your design? The invasion? The battle?"

"No!" Lolth shouted, and her eyes shone gold again. "No, I oath it. That was not Me. That is why I need you, Teysa. You know not the forces arrayed against you."

Her outburst knocked Teysa back a step or two. Shamed or not, the Goddess's presence was radiant and overwhelming. Seeing her off-balance was like watching a landslide devour half of a mountain.

"Why?" Teysa asked. "That's what I want to know. Why do all this? Why me? You went to such great lengths for... who? A mortal? Not even a worshipper? Why work so hard to bring me into Your service?"

Lolth looked down and clasped her hands under her chin. It was such a human gesture of contrition that Teysa felt a pang of sympathy for the Goddess. She pushed it out, reminding herself of what Lolth had done.

"You do not understand," Lolth said at length. "You cannot. To be trapped down there in the darkness... to watch as My children ran wild, murdered each other and sank into savagery... as they despoiled the world I made for them..." For a moment, her eyes flashed red, and Teysa shivered as she caught the edge of the Goddess's rage. This was a rage that could unmake the world if it ever escaped. It boiled and seethed just beneath the surface. Then the moment passed and her eyes were calm gold again.

"I would have destroyed them for their crime. Perhaps I should have. But you.... you convinced Me otherwise. You thought there was some good left in them, something worth saving, and so I have given them a chance. But I look, and I see so little has changed! The slaves teem in their miserable thousands outside the City, and the nobles' worm-eaten hearts and full of plots and schemes. The Matron has freed her prisoners, but the Underneath is full of driders who have never heard of My edict. I look at them all and I see the same corruption, the same venality. And then I look at you..."

Her voice grew soft and wondering.

"I see you working, every day, to make a difference. To help My children be better than they are. They need you, Teysa. I need you. There is darkness gathering, a darkness so terrible and complete that it could snuff out everything. Everything, Teysa. Everything you have worked to save."

"So protect us! Protect them! Isn't that what Gods do? Isn't that what You're for?" Teysa was practically shouting now. "Why do You need me?"

"Oh, Teysa," Lolth said, stepping forward and extending a hand. Teysa raised her own to take it, barely conscious of what she was doing. "I am. I cannot act directly. Others are... not so constrained. You gave My children a second chance, Teysa. I need you to help them keep it."

Teysa thought about this. Then she yanked her arm back so abruptly that the Goddess gasped.

"I am not Your pawn, Mother Lolth. I am not a piece on a chessboard. I am a person, and I have my own life. It may be a little life, but it's mine. You had no right to manipulate me like this. You had no right! How can you expect me to serve You under these terms? What basis is this for a relationship? I serve Agamor freely, out of the desires of my heart, because I believe in His teachings. Which of Your teachings shall I uphold? Lies? Trickery? Deceit?"

Lolth reeled backward. The light pouring from her eyes changed to a pellucid blue, the same as the glacier-light that filled the chamber.

"Teysa, please," she said, extending one hand with her fingers splayed. "You do not know what you are saying. I need you! My children need you! Please!"

Slowly but surely, she was being pushed back to the door of the cave, as though a phantom wind had whipped up. Her gown flapped and blew around her, and her hair flowed backward, its neat braids spinning free. She called out once more at the cave mouth. Teysa could barely hear her-- it was as thought the unfelt wind whipped the words out of her ears-- but she thought the Goddess was screaming her name.

Then she was gone. The blue glow gradually faded, leaving only the dim and familiar light of the fungus on the cave roof. Teysa sat in the gloaming and tried to slow her racing heart.

She drew in a deep breath, and awoke.