...and finds her

Even navigating the warren was a new experience. Teysa's eight legs blurred across the stone floor. Her feet sought out tiny divots and cracks that she had not even noticed before for leverage. She was trying to walk at a modest pace, but she felt herself surging along at a speed she would have struggled to match on two legs.

She did not have to pause and think at each juncture, either. Before, keeping the mental map of the warren in her head had been a challenge. She was always getting lost or taking a wrong turn. Now the corridors and rooms sparkled in her head. She could see it all so clearly: this tunnel connected to the main artery here, branched into apartments here and spiraled downward towards the storage rooms. The warren had been laid out with such artfulness. The seeming chaos was deceptive, a tool to frustrate intruders and foil escapes. Had it been set out this way deliberately, or were the driders merely following instinct?

She slowed to a halt at a juncture. What instinct was _she _following? Why was everything suddenly so clear? Were her thoughts her own? The changes to her body were dire enough. What changes had been wrought where she couldn't see them? She clutched her head in both hands and shook it back and forth.

No. I'm me. I have to be. If I'm not, then who am I?

She clung to that thought like a drowning swimmer. Teysa. Her name was Teysa. She was still Teysa. She had to be. Had to be. When she set off again, her movements were more uncertain, less coordinated. She had to think about moving her legs, and it was difficult. It had been so effortless before. Now she stumbled and slipped. But the lack of smoothness was reassuring. This is all new to me. I'm learning.

The Matron was waiting for her with her arms crossed. She stood in the middle of a rough-hewn cave just starting to show the signs of habitation. Water poured from a hole in the wall and burbled along a pile of stones before vanishing into a drain in the floor. The floor had been cleared and flattened in concentric circles radiating out from a central point, and it was here the Matron stood. Her head was tilted up and she was tracing one finger along the cave wall. In its wake, the stone melted and flowed like wet clay.

She turned her head when Teysa arrived and her eyes briefly widened, but her expression was less shock than satisfaction. <Teysa!> she said, and Teysa realized she was speaking in the language of the driders. <You have returned to us!>

"I'm alive," Teysa replied, and crossed her arms in front of her chest. The Matron's presence was intimidating in a way it hadn't been before. Teysa was acutely aware of the height difference between them. Before, the Matron had overtopped her by two feet or more. Now the difference was less than six inches, but somehow Teysa felt it more keenly. She had to stop herself from shrinking back.

The Matron frowned. <Can you not speak our tongue? The process should have left you with the knowledge.>

"I don't know," Teysa replied, and concentrated. <Is it like this?>

<Excellent!> The Matron clapped her hands. <Look at you! I am proud of you, Teysa, so proud. You look marvelous.>

Something she had said worked its way through to Teysa's brain. <The process?> she asked. <You... you planned this. You did this on purpose!> All of her fear and loss boiled up into rage. She **** herself to speak in Common. "You did this to me! You stole my body!"

The Matron reared back. Now she looked shocked. <Teysa, what are you saying? I saved your life!>

"I didn't ask you to!" Teysa squeaked, her fists balled at her sides. She had meant to roar, but something stopped her. Her heart fluttered in her chest. She screwed her eyes shut so the Matron wouldn't see her tears. "You... you made me a monster! You poisoned me! After everything I did for you! I trusted you!"

The Matron glowered down at her. She loomed over Teysa with a disapproving expression on her statue-perfect features. She looked like a carven angel, one of the seraphs that had adorned the Abbey of St. Petronia and stared disapprovingly at novices. <Teysa, I will forgive you one outburst-- but remember who you are addressing. I am Matron of this warren, and I will have your respect.>

Teysa wanted to say something, wanted to shout in defiance, but her throat was frozen. The Matron seemed to grow out of the very rock of the cavern itself. Her ebony skin blended with the gloom of the cave, but the white hair cascading down her shoulders gave her darkness a regal outline. She was endless, infinite, pitiless, merciless.

She folded her arms. <Teysa, I know this must be hard for you. It always is. You must adjust.>

"I don't want to adjust!" Teysa moaned. She barely recognized her own voice. "I want my old body back! Why did you do this to me? Why?" She wilted to the floor.

<Teysa...> The Matron scuttled a couple of steps closer. <Your wounds were too great. You surely would have died. I did what I had to do. I will not apologize for saving your life.>

Teysa shrank away as the great drider approached. Her instincts were screaming at her to make herself smaller, to hide."Why couldn't you have let me die?" she whispered. She covered her eyes with her hands.

There was silence in the cave for a few minutes, and then she felt hands on her shoulders. The Matron gently but firmly lifted Teysa's own hands away from her face and rested them at her sides.

<To be uplifted,> she said, her tone cold and biting, <is an honor. Many have died for the privilege you now enjoy. You may whine at me of fairness, but in the end, I did what I knew to be right. Everything I do, I do for the warren. I was old when your grandmother's grandmother was a child, and I will not be second-guessed by you.>

"But... my life," Teysa repeated in a whisper. "You took my life." She clung to that simple declaration. The fire had gone out of her and left her empty. The Matron seemed to fill the world. She was massive and immovable, a living mountain of dark flesh and white hair. Her gaze pinned Teysa to the floor like an icicle.

<I did not,> the Matron said quietly. <The drow did that. I gave you what I could. I do not regret it. Perhaps, in time, you will make your peace with the gift you have been given.>

All of Teysa's rage had drained away. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to weep. Most all, she wanted Aliara. Something told her, though, that it was too soon. How could she face her lover like this? She could not even face her reflection.

She had never felt so tiny as she did just then. She felt like a child again, a tiny child in a big and dangerous world. The Matron's tone awoke instincts Teysa had never known she had. Obey, submit, surrender. You are small and she is large.

The Matron leaned in closer. She cradled Teysa to her massive bosom and rocked her back and forth. <I promise you, Teysa, your life is not over,> she murmured. Teysa was astonished to hear a note of sadness in her voice, and a hint of maternal affection.

<Do not despair. You have a place among us. You always will.> She released Teysa and helped her to her feet. <Would you like to see El'keth? She has been worried about you. I know she will be happy to see you alive and well.>

"I... I will, Matron." Teysa lifted her face and wiped a tear from the corner of one eye. She let the Matron take her by the hand and lead her out of the cave.