Katyana’s realization

"Of course, I am not only agreeable, I absolutely insist upon it," Katyana says as she selects another lemon cake from the breakfast platter. "The idea of organizing guest lists and choosing wines for a feast is ahborrent to me - I am more than pleased to have Lady Valerie continue to take on that dreadful chore. I can probably **** myself to attend the events and even smile at those who I would rather impale upon a spike, but the planning and hosting of such events I shall cheerfully leave in Valerie's capable hands."

"She will also be very pleased to hear it," you say, dolloping a bit more honey into your tea than most people would prefer.

You had left word with Liam, your valet, that you wished to be awakened shortly after sunrise; you certainly could have used more sleep, but there is much to do with the final day of the festival. In any event, there is every possibility that you and an uncomfortably large number of others in Elyssia will soon be sleeping without waking. If this is indeed to be your last day on Earth, then it seems almost blasphemous to spend the morning in bed. Upon rising, you sent an invitation to Katyana to break fast with you in your parlor, assuming that she would be of the same mind and also rise early - nor were you wrong.

"That having been said," Katyana says, "there is also he matter of Lady Valerie's, shall we say, other duties."

"Of course, they will come to an end, and indeed already have," you say. "Valerie will be taking other rooms within the castle; it has been arranged. Although ours is, to be perfectly blunt, a marriage of convenience - one might even say one of desperation - I would not presume to keep a mistress when I have a wife. A wife who, I hasten to add, I find very desirable and satisfying in bed."

"And how exactly would you know that? We have yet to make love in a bed." She smiles her tiny smile. "I appreciate the gesture, of course, but perhaps we ought not be so hasty. Yuri is far from the first woman I have kissed, you know. Allowing one of my father's men into my bed would have been far too compromising, but I have my needs just as you do, Xavier. You may be the only man I have ever invited into me, but insofar as women... let us say that it would be rather a stretch of the truth to say that I was truly virginal when we met. And I see that I have made you blush, so perhaps we should leave it at that for now."

Although you don't doubt that your face had flushed more than a little, it certainly wasn't due to embarrassment! However, it probably is a good idea to let that line of conversation wait for another time.

"Perhaps you would allow me to continue our game of last night?" she asks. "I had another question which came to me at the time, but... well, never mind that, the point is that I should like to ask it now."

"By all means," you say.

"In the moment after you took the Vixen's arrow for me, you ordered your General to take her alive - which was sensible, of course. Naturally, an assassin should be questioned rather than killed outright. However, you said something else... you commanded that she should not be locked in irons, but merely placed in a cell under guard. I am curious to know why you insisted upon that. Had it been left up to me, I would have chained her hand and foot!"

"The Vixen, which was the only name I knew her by at the time, was captured that morning by one of the noble guests to the festival," you tell her. "By chance, he had stumbled across her in the forest when she was bathing, and practically helpless. I am certain that he intended to present her to me as a gift, and impress me with the fact that his men had captured Elyssia's most notorious thief. He had her locked up in the cellar of the tower in which he was staying, heavy manacles on her wrists and a chain attached to the ceiling, such that she could barely drop to her knees with her hands extended above her head. And, he neglected to provide her with any sort of clothing."

Katyana's only reaction is to nod; of course, it stands to reason that she has seen prisoners treated far worse, and so such a description of the Vixen's plight would hardly faze her.

"I demanded that she be set free of her chains and turned over to me," you continue. "Thief or not, she did not deserve to be treated so shamefully. And if any of Sir Reginald's men had **** themselves upon her, I guarantee that they would have learned what it feels like to wear chains - and Reginald himself would have been banished for allowing it to happen."

"Ah, Sir Reginald," Katyana says. "I wondered who it was who had beaten my own searchers in the woods to the prize - and, why he was not present at any of the festival events. But, that does not explain why you did not put her in irons for the far more serious crime of attempted ****."

"Because I refuse to be guilty of treating her in the same despicable manner as I had just berated another man for doing," you say. "And, I did not think it would be necessary... even as I felt her arrow in my back, I was sure that her act was a moment of madness which likely had passed the instant she loosed her shot, and that she already felt regret over what she had done. Indeed, she did not even try to run; my men found her still holding her bow upon the east balcony, never having moved an inch from that spot, and I am told that the look on her face was one of horrified disbelief. But that is all trivial, excuses that I might give to the council because they are sensible and logical. The true reason is that I saw the look in Liesel's eyes when she was chained, the terror and the humiliation that she felt at being **** into such an utterly helpless position. I would not be the one to make her live through that nightmare again."

The look on Katyana's face is also one of disbelief, but in wonder rather than horror. "Who are you, Xavier?" she asks, her voice little more than a whisper. "How can a man such as you exist in this world? I have known men who speak of valor and chivalry; who fancy themselves noble of heart, gallant and brave like the Knights of King Arthur's court or some other fantasy. But in their hearts, they are all alike... it is always a means to an end, a way to revel in their own imagined glory or to seduce some fluff-minded maiden with stars in her eyes. I saw through to the hypocrisy of such men when I was ten years younger than I am now, and I have never failed to find it since then... until I met you. What are you doing here, drinking honey-sweetened tea and eating lemon cakes, when you should be in a storybook being read to all-too impressionable children?"

"Is it really so strange for one person to honestly care for the well-being of others?" you ask her. "To see someone suffering, and wish to alleviate their pain, or at least not make it worse? To offer forgiveness rather than vengeance, kindness rather than cruelty? You have said that your life has been both cruel and hard, but have you truly never met anyone who even occasionally considered the needs of others before his own? Katyana, I do not think of myself as a hero or saint, nor do I act as I do because of some code of chivalry which I feel compelled to follow. I am the person I am simply because I would not want to be otherwise."

Katyana sits silent for a long moment, staring at you. Then, she puts her teacup down, stands up slowly, and walks to the window, looking out over the balcony towards the city, the valley below, and the sunrise. You stand and approach her, and realize that tears stream freely down her cheeks.

"Are you all right, Katyana?" you ask her.

"I am looking at the world," she whispers. "I want to be sure that I remember everything I can about this moment... every last detail."

"Why?"

She turns to look at you. "Because, Xavier... this is the moment when I found that you truly are the man I imagined you to be. This is the moment when I fell in love with you."