An Introduction to Egyptian Mythology

The Compleat Egyptian System of Mythology, the book was called, and was written, as one might suspect, by E. A. Wallis Budge. It just so happened that as the book fell, it opened to a page detailing the resurrection of Osiris by his wife Isis. As I recall this now, I suppose this is the sort of sloppy Deus Ex Machina that makes a terrible novel, but the erotic story was just that: an example of personal eroticism which I had written in an attempt to exorcise the terrible desire within me to play with the actual dollhouse. I suppose that playing with a synthetic version, a version all on paper, would be far superior, especially if I kept the book under lock and key, constantly by my side. But, the character that represented with me had the same kind of genre blindness necessary to a good narrative about strange, supernatural or paranormal happenings. If the character commented upon this lucky circumstance, as I am doing now, the character would certainly break the verisimilitudinous quality of the story. Of course, erotic writing has always stretched the limits of credulity, due probably to the inherent nature of writing about something that is both so important and upheld in our society (especially to sell items), and also so frowned upon (to talk about honestly).

Whether or not the story of Osiris was reported correctly, I do not remember, because I was creating this story up wholesale out of the cloth of the air around me and the ideas that seemed to be flowing through me. Anything at all that would prevent me from using my hands-- all too idle-- to devilishly play with the actual dollhouse. But I have mentioned this before. In that story of Osiris and Isis, related in my own fictional story, the whole thing began as it always does, with Osiris ruling over Egypt, being a descendent of Atum-Ra.

Osiris is married to Queen Isis, and her brother Set is jealous of his power and wants to obtain it for himself. Set is all gung-ho, all ready to set the forces of Chaos on earth, but Osiris represents that order of god that wants earth to settle, that brings indeed order to the world. Osiris is an all-father god, much like the Zeus I was more familiar with from the Greek mythos, and he uses that power to seduce many concubines besides Isis. One of these was Set’s wife. Set, of course, though being a God of Chaos, is also interested in loyalty. These things are not in any way mutually exclusive. Chaos embraces all things, and loyalty, fealty, sexual fidelity are all things that Seth prized, at least with regards to his own wife.

Set takes a weapon, I think it was a javelin, or it could have been a knife, and he carefully murders Osiris. It is like something out of Hitchcock’s Rope. I mean, if I remember correctly, the whole things happens around many other Gods and Goddesses, and it is all planned out. Were it a movie it would indeed be tracked in only a single shot. Then, he transforms into a crocodile and devours the God. Because gods cannot be killed, not in entirety, the Crocodile went around the NIle and around the world depositing portions of the body of Osiris so that no would find the body and piece him back together. There were at least forty-two, I do remember the book I was making up within my fictional story insisting upon, as if that fact had seized my consciousness and insisted upon inserting itself many times into the story. The forty-two was repeated over and over, and I almost paused in my writing of the erotic narrative to meditate about the idea that the number into which a god was split was forty-two. I would have thought that it would be twenty three, I supposed, modeling the chromosomes in the human body. But this meditation was interrupted by the insistent urging within my body that I continue my story.

Set becomes king and things go potty. Of course, if this were truly a Hamlet prototype, I would have Isis mary Set, and I do remember that in my first draft of the story I had written that in, but quickly deduced that this would not work to really enforce the theme of the sexually charged story at hand. I turned back to writing, and my character turned back to reading the imaginary book that I invented within my sex story. Set takes over as king, and things do not go well. But Isis and Set’s own wife set off to put their lover back together, often in the form of falcons. They slowly gather all the pieces they need to put the God back together, though they shed many tears during the search, which was the reason for the yearly inundation of the Nile.

In their travels, it seems, the two women met a God with the head of an Ibis. This God was traveling back and forth from the underworld nearly daily, and was indeed a messenger. It may be supposed, the book I wrote within my story claimed, that this God was analogous to the Greek Hermes. Here, instead, the god was Thoth, who instructed the goddesses in various arts, including in magic. But, as all Gods do, as all magic requires, there was a price: each goddess slept with this God, and with his Dog-headed companion Anubis, in return for the information. It was strange that in a story mainly focused on the erotic that this liaison was not something I focused upon. Instead, I moved on to tell the rest of the story, my body and hand insistent that I quickly finish the exposition and return to the action of the story.

Osiris is mummified, and the book went on to explain the whole process, which I did not detail in my story, and am not detailing here. Then, after a series of dangerous encounters with Set, as the two women return to their own kingdom, and attempt to revive Osiris. Try as they might, they cannot, until Isis petitions Thoth for more instruction. Thoth points out that there is something important missing from Osiris, and when the goddess double check, they find that they have only recovered forty-one pieces. The last piece is still resting within the body of Set.

So Isis and Set’s wife set out and swiftly dismember the God, after he has turned into his crocodile shape. They recover Osiris’ penis and affix it to the body. But the body still does not come to life until Thoth helpfully suggest that the body needs spirit, which must be breathed in somehow. Because the mouth is mummified, the only place with any entryway, even so small, for the breath to enter, is the penis of the god. So Isis blows her spirit, which is entangled with her husbands, and brings him back to life.