The Message

“Hi honey!” You begin, your tone that of a housewife leaving a cute message for her loving husband.

“If you are watching this then I imagine you are standing in our bedroom right now and I guess you can tell I had some friends over.” You pause for a moment, your heart racing. “Well they are mostly your friends actually. You see I got talking to some of the guys you work with and, wouldn’t you know it! They are really great guys. In fact we have been getting on so well that I thought it would be just the thing to invite them over for a party.”

You stop for a moment, wagging your finger at the camera. “Now I know what you are thinking. What about drinks and entertainment? Well the guys are so nice that they are going to bring drinks and food over so I don’t have to buy in anything. And as for the entertainment, well I really didn’t have much to offer but then I realised that I could be the entertainment!”

You pause for a moment, trying to imagine what kind of scene he will be surrounded by when he watches this.

“And since you seem to love entertaining our guests in the bedroom I thought it would be the best place. Don’t worry though, I am going to make sure we make use of every room in the house. After all we do live in such a wonderful house, I should really show it off.”

A wicked thought enters your mind as you speak. “And I just know the guys are going to be sooo jealous of your old Jag when I show it off to them.”

You move a little closer to the camera, getting ready to wrap up.

“I know how sweaty things can get when you are entertaining and I don’t think we have enough towels for everyone so I decided that we could spare some of our clothes to help the guys clean themselves up.”

Moving to the camera, one hand reaching out to pause the recording, you reveal the object hidden in your hand, a credit card. “I thought this could get a little expensive so I took some money out of the joint account. Just to cover any costs that might come up.”

You think about signing off with some glib remark but something tells you he might have already smashed the camera by then.

The record button clicks and the little red light dies.

Showtime, you think to yourself.