Hey, He'll Figure it Out!

You've forgotten that you've never technically ridden a horse before, because you feel as natural and spirited as you ever have before. The wind whipping past your grinning face, the sound of your palfrey's sure hoofs pounding below you, very nearly inaudible sound of Trundle muttering under his breath...you don't know when the last time you felt this good was. Maybe never.

A **** scream pierces through your reverie, sounding out from a path just off of the main road, where the babbling brook has turned into more of a revelrously roaring river. You furrow your brow, expertly redirecting your horse in that direction; is everything okay? Oh, or is this maybe part of the show? You're still not sure how this is supposed to be working, but the fact that no one with a pair of headphones and, like, a clipboard or something has burst in and fired you yet gives you some confidence that so far, you're doing it right.

You don't have far to go before you see the source of the pleading cry: a peasant girl is being dragged out of a small cottage nestled by the banks of the river by the singularly most bandit-y bandit you've ever seen. Seriously, this guy knows his business. Sure, you'd have probably been able to do the eyepatch and the cackling yourself. And someone could have helped you with the big puckered scar. But the air of palpable menace? The way he lavaciously drools as he pulls out a dagger, preparing to cut away his victims clothes or worse? The fucking...oily sheen?! You really feel fortunate that you're getting paired up with all of these veterans for your first day on the job. Talk about setting someone up for success!

You haven't slowed down the slightest as you admire what you somehow believe is a pretend medieval ****, the bandit so caught up in his heinous crime that he doesn't notice the thundering approach of an armored knight until his victim gasps in surprise rather than terror. The dagger drops from his shocked hands as he lets out a spittle-filled shriek, throwing himself backwards to avoid being trampled. Unfortunately for him, this sends him careening with a loud splash into the river. You think you get it now. This is all being spectated, right? You're all acting out some sort of knights and damsels reality show, or whatever. Fucking dope.

You jump down from your horse, laughing triumphantly at the flailing, sputtering bandit as the current rushes him away. "Take THAT, wretched knave! No fair maiden shall come to harm when Prince-" Uh, improvise, "Uh, Prince BOLDCOCK still lives!" Oh man, that felt so great. You think the bandit even gave you a thumbs up as hey, is that a waterfall?

You wander over to the edge of the river, peering down curiously as the screaming bandit actor plummets down and down and down the cliffside with the roaring water, coming to a rather final sounding splat into the large lake just below. You straighten, brow furrowed as a very out of breath Trundle finally catches up with you. "Hey, ah...that's a pretty long drop."

"*Pant Nothing *gasp* escapes your*weaze* keen insight*vomit!*"

You pull a face at the hurling manservant, but are put a bit at ease nevertheless. Trundle would have dropped his hilarious comedy routine if that guy was actually super dead, wouldn't he? Of course, he totally would, you turn back around to your horse with renewed confidence. Before you can, however, you suddenly find yourself with your arms filled to the brim with quivering peasant girl.

Oh man, you didn't get a very good look before, but this girl is hot. You're pretty sure peasants in the real Middle Ages were sick and dumpy with, like, wooden pegs for both legs and both arms. This girl looks like she just sashayed out of an incredibly nerdy Victoria's Secret commercial. Her long dirty blonde braid has been mostly undone by her struggle, leaving her hair spilling down the lightly tanned skin of her shoulders and neck. You catch a glimpse of an adorably pretty face, rosy cheeked and plump lipped, whenever she pulls back to plant another grateful kiss on your coifed neck. And that body, fuck, she must have given them the wrong measurements or something because the pornstar-quality rack she's squishing into your chest seems to desperately want to burst out and say "what's up!" You were pleased with the experience of your fellow workers before? Now you're goddamn thrilled with experiencing your fellow workings.

The girl continues to crush herself against you, her hands hugging her perfect body as closely to yours as she can manage. "Oh, Prince Boldcock!", she coos in a lilting voice, "I was so scared! If you hadn't come by I, I...oh, I can't bear to think it! How can I ever thank my hero!"

You clear your throat, trying to keep your cool as your face and neck heat up. Fuck, this is getting to you. Better play this the right way and quick before....nope, too late. You've got an erection. Does she...the girl's eyes widen as you feel yourself merrily poke her in the thigh. You're so goddamn fired.

There is a moment of silence as you beat yourself up internally. How the fuck are you supposed to go and apply to Best Buy after this?! You'll never find a job as great as....uh, wait, is that a dainty little hand you feel toying with you through your leggings?

You look down wide eyed to see the peasant girl gazing up at you with a sultry green look. "I think I know how I can thank you..." she purrs before leaning in even closer against your chest, fingers slipping down into your pants as she slowly runs her tongue along her plush lower lip. Umm.....you glance over towards Trundle for some guidance. Hm. Seems like he's still vomiting. You're on your own here.

You look back down at the girl, who's smile has begun to curl up even further as her questing fingers find the base of your rapidly engorging manhood. What would a brave prince say here? There is a lot riding on this. "Uh......go for it?"

Apparently that was the right thing to say, because the girl slowly slides down to her knees and takes your pants with you. She gives a gasp of delight as your throbbing dick springs up to wobble before her; you are so fucking hard you actually look bigger than usual. Uh wait, you actually look a lot...you never complete that thought as the girl lays a sweet little kiss on the tip of our cockhead, then winks up at you as she swallows the entirety of your girth in one expert swallow. Any confusion is driven from your mind as you opt to instead grin like an idiot, the girl's dark blonde head bobbing delightfully up and down on your crotch. You groan as she presses herself even further, effortlessly deepthroating you with little gulping noises.

"Oh God, how are you doing that thing with your tongue?!"

You hear her try to give a muffled response, but it's tough with a mouth stuffed to the rafter with exquisitely pleased cock.

"Nevermind, Hollywood Magic and all that right?"

It's been a while for you, so considering that this is the single greatest blowjob you've ever received you're pretty impressed by your own stamina. Still, all good things must end, and your insistently churning balls are the herald to that end. "Oh shit, I'm gonna cum..."

She simply nods, giving you a sultry moan of deep pleasure. This job is the fucking greatest. You try to stifle your grunts of pleasure as you unleash your load down her waiting throat, the girl expertly meeting each blast with a perfect little gulp. She pops off you at your final shot, cheekily opening her mouth to show you the last of your efforts before swallowing it down too. You can't do much more than stand there and pant in delight as she slips back up to her feet, carefully pulling up your pants and affectionately stuffing your spent cock back into them. She grins and blows kiss, the turning away to walk back to her cottage with a proud wiggle in her pert bottom.

You're still in a bit of a daze as you slowly pull yourself back on your amused looking horse, endorphins high-fiving themselves all throughout your body. Trundle, who's managed to stop throwing up and pull himself onto his mule, regards you with a look that you'd recognize as loathing if you weren't just so relaxed right now.

"Better out than in, eh Trundle?"

His only is a series of mutters and grumbles as you start off again, now at a much more leisurely pace. If you get a scheduled break, you're fucking skipping it. This shit is too good.