The Little Black Book

When you get up in the morning you shower and throw a pair of low-rider black jeans that are more shred than denim and a slightly oversized black tee with 'Keep Calm and Bang Your Head' on it, one of your many pairs of rainbow socks-with-toes, and the faux combat boots with the red-brown paint spatters. After floating downstairs to put your slightly stained bedding in the laundry you fly back up to your room. At least Mom won't be on your ass about wearing boots in the house.

First things first: the CUNT-ball comes out of sleep mode with a little buzz and a vibrate. You open up the diary, which is more of a dated notepad, and learn the basic functions. You don't know why Grandma didn't learn to use it, but that just means it's blank for you.

Second things second: you take out the black book and start skimming. Each person is entered on their own page with a few notes. The pages are sorted in alphabetical order, and there's about a hundred in here. Girls have pink edging, guys have blue. She doesn't seem to have separated the heroes and the villains. You flip through it from back to front.

• Photon (female) **: Villainess, solo, light powers, holograms, intangible. Creepy but nice, likes to steal gemstones. Hangs out at Sandman's, can down 10 martinis before getting tipsy, passes out at 37. Distracts heroes by flashing (lights, boobs, both). Just wants to be famous, doesn't really have a master plan. Can be plied with drinks if you have lots of money.
• Nightengale (female) ***: Heroine, League of Propriety, gadgets, sonics. Man she's agile; can do standing splits if she ever stands still. Married?, 9 off in the 90's, probably has a kid. Count on her for a good gang fight. Update: retired 20 years ago, but can sometimes be found at nostalgia events. May have spotted her in civvies a few times, but she looks beaten. PTSD?
• Maiden America (female) *******: Heroine, League of Propriety, strength, invulnerable, flight, too many side powers to count. Fought in Crimean War but doesn't look a day over 25. One of the few who can totally rock a cape. OMG; can make tapioca get an erection; haven't met a single person who doesn't want her. Mainly stops natural disasters; no crook in their right mind wants to fight her. Total sucker for Bing Crosby, favourite song I Surrender Dear. And she does. Best lay in the city. Makes you feel special even when she dumps you. Makes Interesting Man look like a nobody. If you work with her on a case, don't expect to get any notice from press, but her smile is worth it.
• Interesting Man (male) *****: Hero, solo (honorary member of every super group), super-fascination. Never seen him actually do anything, but everybody wants to know him. Villains kidnap him just so he can threaten them; Yolrathi invaded Earth just to meet him; once held an audience captivated for two hours by reading a catalog of finishing nail sizes; doesn't drink beer very often, prefers a perfectly-aged port. Once made somebody turn away from ogling Maiden America for a moment.
• Hot Cross Bunny (female) ***: Villainess, Wonderland Warriors, rabbit powers. Cute little waistcoat over a heart of ice; sociopath. Brains of her group, not a heavy hitter but usually has a backup plan that threatens civilians. Never jailed. Major player, DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE.
• Green Streak (male) **: Hero, League of Propriety, Speedster, 250 mph city, 400 highway. Arrogant butthead, stick up his arse. Always serious, doesn't let minor goons escape even when they're reformable. Patronizes heroines, avoids villainesses. Tries to sleep with every new female in the League; gives whole new meaning to premature ejaculation. Don't bother.
• eX-Man (female) ***: Villain, solo, polymorpher. Formerly Transforman (hero, male), but his powers got twisted by Dreamer Genie; now she can only gender swap people. Mostly tech thefts, trying to find a way to turn herself male again. Either that or one of the most delusional villains out there. Kind of cute, but mostly a damned nuisance.
• **** (male): Villain, solo, psychic. Can induce crippling humiliation and fear, but only on people he has dirt on. Has dirt on nearly everyone, and the only way out is to publicly reveal secrets. In it for the money and power, may have a longer game. Only man who's ever touched me that gave ZERO attraction. Has me by the curlies three ways - personal, heroic, government. Only saving grace is that marriage secrets passed with Nolan's ****. BAD NEWS in all caps. If you're reading this Maya, stay away from him at all costs; he can and will ruin your life.

Grandma! What has **** got on you? Damn it, why didn't you warn me about him?

There's too many entries to go over them all, and I have to get to class anyway.