Probable cause

"Officer, wait" you say. "There's no need for this, you know. He wasn't swerving because he's drunk. He was swerving because I was rubbing his penis."

The Trooper's eyes grow big, and his face flushes red. "Ma'am, are you admitting to public lewdness? Are you a hooker, or on ****, or something? Are you actually married to this man? Let me see your ID right now!"

"I didn't do anything lewd in public" you answer. "How could I? We're in a car!"

"Ma'am, the car may be a private vehicle, but without tinted windows everything you do is visible to the public eye" says the Trooper. He turns his attention back to Greg. "Sir, is everything she just said true? Is she your wife?"

Greg looks over at you as if to say You've really got us in deep shit now! He looks back at the Trooper. "No sir, she's not my wife. I work with her. What she told you is what really happened. Please, if you just let us go, I can promise you it won't happen again."

"Were you a willing accomplice to this lewd act, sir?" the Trooper inquires.

"No! I didn't even know she was going to do it until it happened!" Greg answers, wide eyed.

"Are you willing to testify to this fact?"

Greg looks at you like a caged animal. "Yes, I suppose so..."

"That's all I need to hear, sir" the Trooper says, then makes his way to the passenger side of the car. "Step out of the car, ma'am. I'm arresting you for public lewdness."

"What?" you say, shocked about this entire ordeal. "I can't believe this! Barney Fife is arresting me for public lewdness?"

The Trooper draws a stun gun. "Ma'am, step out of the vehicle, or I will also be **** to add on resisting arrest to those charges. Get out now!"

You slowly open the door and get out of Greg's car. The Trooper closes it, expertly and efficiently spins you around, pinning you against the car. He pulls your arms behind your back, and cuffs your wrists. He walks you around to Greg's side of the car. "Sir, you're free to go. However, I have to take your friend here to jail." He walks you over to his patrol car, and helps you into the back seat. You watch as Greg drives away, while the Trooper radios in your arrest.