Pretend to eat.

You might be just a beginner at this, but there's no way you're falling for a trick that obvious. You sit at the table, accept a goblet of wine, and pretend to sip at it. You tear a chicken leg from a huge roast bird and hold it to your mouth while pretending to pretend to nibble at it, then place it back on your plate. Peach is staring at you, smiling invitingly.

"So uh.. this is your arena, is it?" you ask, a little redundantly.

"It is! This is my castle," she says, smiling brightly and looking a little dreamy, "This is my castle where I am a princess."

"It's very uh, impressive," you say, looking around. Amazing would be a better word for it. How much money must Battle Fuck have to set the girls up with "arenas" as elaborate as this, you wonder. The room is huge, and very convincing looking - more than some stage set, the walls look as if they are genuine stonework, the floor flagstones, narrow leaded glass archways admit yellowy light of day, although you where sure there were no windows outside this building. Guttering torches burn in sconces, set into walls hug here and there with tapestries and stuffed animal heads. The table is huge and heavy, groaning with platters of traditional foods - all in all, it's like some Larpers dream.

"So, uh, how did you get into Battle Fuck?" you ask, making her beam brightly.

"Oh, well, I was in the Live Action Role Play Society at college," she says animatedly, and you give yourself a mental pat on the back, "And, well, I got a little carried away one time when I was playing a Naughty, Haughty Princess and i beat a boy in a fight and, well..."

She blushes.

"Rumours got around, and Rose heard and came to talk to me and invite me into her club, and after my apprenticeship, I got promoted and got to pick my own room and rules! And now I get to be the Princess I always was."

She smiles and stares up, into the air and her memories, as you pretend to swing some wine and chew more chicken. This is oddly civil, you think. There's been no aggression on her part at all - presumably she's waiting for whatever she's **** the food with to kick in. Or maybe.. maybe you're mistaken about that? Maybe she is just a chatty, kooky cos-player.. who likes to fuck fight?