Phoebe’s account of the night

I’ll only tell you this story if you swear to secrecy. Don’t tell any of your spouses about this. It would cause too much drama. I’d never tell this, but Chandler’s insistence that he hasn’t wanted to fuck me has pushed me over the edge.

So as you may remember I was seven months pregnant when I got married. Monica and Rachel were both three or four months pregnant at my ceremony. It was a very sober reception for us, but definitely not for our men, especially Chandler and Ross who took advantage of the open bar. I tried to ignore their drunkenness, and enjoy my wedding.

It was nearing the end of the night. I was hot, sweaty and I needed to get off my feet. I stepped outside to get some fresh air. On the nearest bench, there was a man with his face in his hands, and his fingers combed into his disheveled blonde hair. I sat down next to him asking, “You doing alright Chandler?”

He looked up from his hands. His blue eyes were bloodshot, and he gave me a big goofy grin. “I’m doing alright. Just trying to keep the Earth from spinning.”

I gave him a pat on the shoulder, “You’ve had a lot to drink tonight.”

“And I just smoked a joint with your husband,” he closed his mouth quickly like he was trying to catch the secret that just escaped. “Don’t tell my wife. She hates when I smoke.”

“I’ll never tell,” I said turning on the bench, and putting my feet onto his lap. Without even asking, he took off my shoes, and started massaging my feet. I stretched my neck looking up into the starry Colorado sky.

“You’re a beautiful bride.”

“Thanks,” I answered unconsciously after hearing it so many times. A compliment that ignores my giant baby bump in my wedding dress.

“Your tits look huge.”

“HA!” I laughed. “You really are drunk. But thanks for noticing. They’ve grown more than a cup size.”

“One of the benefits of being pregnant. Plus you don’t have to use a condom.”

“We didn’t before, which is why I’m in this scenario,” I said. “How’s your pregnant wife?”

“Cranky and nauseous,” Chandler replied. “She looked at the menu and threw up. She’s already in bed.”

“Poor guy is going to have to jack off in the shower tonight,” I teased. I’ll admit I did rub my foot on his crotch.

Looking down at his lap, he asked, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to feel if you got a footlong,” I said resting my foot against his increasing bulge in his pants. It was so fun to tease him. It was just another game to me.

“We’re both married now. Each with a kid on the way,” Chandler said, looking serious despite the being drunk and high.

“Yeah. It’s mutually assured destruction. So it’s the perfect time, because neither of us would ever tell,” I joked.

Chandler’s hand slipped from my foot, and moved up my calf. “Yeah. No one would ever believe it if we fucked on your wedding night.”

“My husband will be so disappointed if he finds out I’m not a virgin,” I said as Chandler’s hand moved under my dress and up to my knee.

“How fast do you think we could do it? If I pull down my pants, and you sat on my lap,” Chandler asked. His eyes obviously stared at my cleavage. His hand under my dress reached my garter, and played with it, snapping it against my thigh.

Playing along I said, “Well we wouldn’t have to use a condom. You could just come right in me. No risk of a cuckold situation. Your wife has morning sickness, and probably doesn’t want to be touched, so you haven’t had sex in a while. You probably haven’t had a chance to jerk off this weekend, so you’re ready to explode. I bet I wouldn’t be able to finish the ‘Happy Birthday’ song before you came in me.”

His fingers tapped up the inside on my thigh from the garter. His fingers brushed against my white lace panties. He had never gone this far before. “I wasn’t talking about me. How quickly could I make you come?” His tongue subtly wet his lips, as his knuckles rubbed against me with only the thin fabric of the lace separating us. I no longer thought he was joking.

I tried to get him back into a joking mood. “You couldn’t make me come too hard, or else my baby girl might decide to come out a month early.”

His fingers rubbed circles on my panties. Fuck he knew the perfect spot to rev me up. His bloodshot blue eyes lustfully stare into me, “Let me crawl under this big dress. No one will see me as I eat your pussy and give you the orgasm of a lifetime.”

I’ll admit my breathing did change. The motion of his fingers felt good. And the frankness of his proposal would be a major turn on in other circumstances, but it was literally my wedding night. He actually bent down, and was about to go under my dress. Before I could say a word to stop him, the door from the reception opened.

“Oh my god! There you are! I thought we lost my pregnant bride!” Joey boomed as he strolled to me. He noticed my feet in Chandler’s lap. He laughed, “Putting my groomsmen to work massaging your feet?”

“Yes,” I yawned. “I’m so tired from this whole day. Help me up, and we can say goodnight to all the guests.”

With my husband’s help, I got up. I gave Chandler a kiss on the cheek. I hoped my husband didn’t notice Chandler’s raging erection that pressed against his thin dress pants. He didn’t. (He was more concerned with squeezing my ass than looking at his friend.)

We went back into the reception. I really hoped that Chandler didn’t just jack off right there on that bench.

And that is a very real instance of when Chandler tried to fuck me.