My New Life

The statewide EDP announcement went out as I was getting my Uber back to my apartment. Quickly followed by a myriad of texts from female friends, extended family, ex-girlfriends, co-workers, people I used to go to high school with etc sending me very explicit texts and DM pictures and messages begging me to fuck them, news feeds of conservative talking heads online already decrying that something like this will inevitably lead to a rise of cis men pretending to be trans EDPs to take advantage of women (as if that doesn't already happen....), etc.

This was already going to be exhausting.

I closed my phone, then my eyes and leaned back in my seat, breathing out a groan. "Hey, you're that...." My driver, an older guy that I couldn't exactly pin down to one ethnicity or another, started to say. "Yes, I'm the new EDP. No, I'm not interested in men. Yes, I just want to go home right now." I rapid fire answered, eyes still closed.

"So, you wouldn't be interested in my daughter or granddaughters?" He asked. Urgh....if I weren't nicer, I wouldn't give this guy a five star rating, but my anxiety and people pleaser personality would never allow that.

When I finally got back to my one bedroom apartment, I sat down to watch a spooky movie while I tried to decide who I should....I guess pick to be my Primary Fuck. I lived alone and had no remaining immediate family, so the oh so common trope of EDP **** would be out the window, for me at least.

I considered some of my close friends, but they were either married, had children or married and had children. Not that it really mattered, I was an EDP and could practically do whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted, but I don't personally think I could just up and rip them from their lives. I might consider having sex with them some other time soon though....

I thought about getting in touch with old friends, contacting attractive YouTubers I knew of, plucking a complete stranger off the street.....this was going to be harder than I thought.

Then I got a brilliant idea. "Oh, she's perfect." I mused to myself.