Politely decline.

You are so hazy and so horny, but you decide maybe that's exactly why you shouldn't jerk off another dude. It would almost certainly lead to you doing something you regret. You gather your courage and tell Dirk. "Uhm sorry dude, I'm not into that kind of thing."

Dirk stares at you with his cold dead eyes for a moment that feels like it will be the last of your life, then he smiles...but his eyes don't. "No problem, man. But damn I'm boned. Let's spark up another jay and play a video game or something." You breath a sigh of relief. He can't be too mad if he's continuing to smoke you out. You aren't sure you want to get any higher than you already are, but you decide you don't want to set Dirk off by saying "no" again. By the time you've hooked up MK 11 and Dirk has passed you the joint, you've forgotten why you were so worried.

"Haha of course Brian is gonna main a chick!" Dirk laughs as he sees you pick Cassie and after taking a deep hit, you do too. You feel uncommonly comfortable around Dirk at the moment. You are both still visibly boned, and your trash talk takes a decidedly more suggestive tone, but as long as you both pretend not to notice it, it's like it doesn't matter.

"Eat my ass, dude! This 'chick' just nut shotted your spinal column out of your body!" Dirk laughs and passes you the joint...it seems like it's not getting much smaller. Is it a new joint? And how high does he plan on getting you...and why? These are all the questions you should be asking instead of taking a huge hit and sinking deeper into your stupor. But you just feel so happy, so carefree, you are actually enjoying spending time with Dirk as a friend, not some scary sociopath.

"Yo, if you think you're really better than me, you oughta be willing to play for keeps. Strip Kombat. Every loss is an article of clothing and loser has to declare the winner Kombat Master and be their **** the rest of the night." This seems like an even worse idea than jerking him off...or it would if all the blood hadn't rushed from your head to your painfully hard boner and you didn't feel like your whole body was wrapped in a security blanket and only good things could happen forever.

"Haha, get ready to call me Master!" You pick Cassie again and give Dirk a wink. You are going to pound his ass...repeatedly.