Pay up

"Hey, dinner's on me." You get Tina to let you out of the booth, and you pick up the check. "I'll be right back."

You walk to the register, timing it when no one is there. A weary manager looks up from a clipboard.

"Hello, I hope your meal was to your liking." The manager can't put enough into his standard speech to make you believe it. You hand him the bill.

"You will make this meal complimentary, because my party was very displeased with the quality of the meal. The service was excellent. You are very apologetic. You forget that I told you this."

"I am so sorry that you didn't like your meal. Let me comp it for you, since it is my responsibility." He rings up the sale and puts the receipt on the spindle. "I hope you'll come try us again on a better night. Thank you. Have a nice day."

"Thanks."

You return to the table. Everyone is finished. "Paul, can you leave a tip? The waitress was cute. Tip her well."

"Sure." He pulls a ten out of his wallet and lays it on the table. You all leave the restaurant.