Paladin

"Something tells me I'm going to regret getting into this. All right, though, I'll be your paladin. What does it take?"

"Oh, little things. Real little things. Sign a contract with blood, give me your soul ... Yes, I'm joking! By and large, you have already become one. I did not even doubt your decision.

So, first of all - hold on" - she handed me a flash drive. Even without inserting it into the laptop, I already knew what was on it. Of course, she did not hesitate to voice it - "Did your father send you for this? Pick up a flash drive with blueprints from a recruited agent from Springfeeld Aerology? Well, so that you do not risk in vain where it is not necessary and can quickly begin to fulfill my mission - I have slightly reduced your work. And yes, keep in mind, the agent is exposed, and where the flash drive lay is now an ambush by the FBI. In general, it is better for you not to communicate with the agent in the near future"

I carefully tucked the flash drive into a hidden pocket. It... was impressive.

"Yes, I promise no cops will stop you on your way to the consulate. Just don't forget to stop by the local store and buy a souvenir. A Krusty plushie, I suppose.

The locals, due to the similarity of the names of the real and the cartoon city, simply turned on the simpsons.

Now for your mission, my dear champion. A couple of days ago, not far from here, one very bad young man was able to take possession of a thing that I, at one time, highly recommended to the other gods to destroy. This is a ring, or rather a ring and papyrus. Once these things were created... The former me. And endowed with great power. Actually - this ring is not the only one. In total, there are five such artifacts. Our task is to collect them all. And we'll start with this ring, because it seems that its new owner was able to finally figure it out"

"Two questions: First, why don't you incinerate this 'bad person' with divine will and return the artifacts? And second: how powerful is this artifact and what does it threaten me with?"

"You see... We can't actually meddle with reality THAT clearly. We always do it through you humans. Actually, that's what the ring was for. We always need a champion, a conduit for our powers. Someone to let we have to act. And even so - we are very limited. Even for the way our meeting is going now - I had to go to a whole bunch of violations that will still come to me. And keep in mind - I really haven't changed anything. As soon as we leave this cafe "These lovely young ladies will turn back into dull, old maids. And the cafe - into the trash. However, if you, with your first prayer to me, ask me to leave everything as it is...."

"Then you will receive an indulgence for a minor change in reality. I think I understood the point."

"No, you're positively trying to get me into bed... And you succeed!" - this fidget started kissing me passionately again, brazenly fidgeting with her charming ass right on my fly. And, of course, convinced of the power of his "feminine charm." In full growth - "Sometimes I want to become an ordinary woman and not a goddess. In this case, there would be much fewer restrictions ... And I would only let you go home in three days. And we would go together. Meet your parents! But okay - let's get down to business. So, do you remember how I dealt with the bandits? I was able to do this only because you appeared, stood up for me, and, thereby, entered my Aspect as the right hero. But the one who owns ring - can do this at any time. "Mouth of Isis" - this trinket is called. Put it on, say secret words. and everything that you then tell some interlocutor about him will immediately become true. This is if it is quite simple explain".

"And what's to stop him from turning me into a frog, for example?" - Of course, I'm a hero, but I'm not an idiot ... Well, not always, anyway.

"You yourself and my love! Oh... Did I say that? In general, I meant my attention. You, in fact, will be the only person in the whole world who will not succumb to the magic of the rings. But keep in mind that YOU do not give in does not mean that he cannot, say, turn a person passing by into a maniac-killer who will rush to cut you"

"Oh, so comforting. What else should I know? And yes, I've heard all about love, although, to be honest, I'm pretty sure it's all just your manipulation."

"Seriously? Do you think I'm manipulating you?" - all the fun left her face, as if it was washed away by a tsunami - "No, no problems and no offense. I understand everything. Goddess, the first mortal I met ... And just think - for the first time in thousands of years I found myself in such a helpless situation in my stupidity. Just think - you are the first mortal in my life who saved me from ... Well, actually from beatings. They could not kill me, but they could easily cripple my mortal shell. And I could not escape - the laws of intervention ... I got into a corporeal form only because the avatar is the only loophole so that I myself could deal with the problem of the ring .... But yes, I understand your distrust ... Maybe one day I will be able to win your trust and your love." She wrapped her arms tightly around herself.

Tears imperceptibly flowed down her cheeks, but she turned her nose up so as not to show how much I hurt her. On the one hand, I felt ashamed, on the other, I still strongly doubted whether everything that was happening was not ordinary female deceit.

"Let's talk later. For now, I'll send you everything you need to know about the target to your inbox. Yes, just imagine. The goddess knows how to email too. Okay, then we'll continue ..." - she sobbed undisguisedly and rushed off . A couple of minutes later, my iPhone tlinked. I took out my phone, read the text, swore softly, got up and went to the exit. Already on the threshold I stopped, raised my head to the ceiling and said:

"Stella. My honey, well, forgive me, i m fool. And please, make sure that this cafe remains as wonderful and the waitresses are as young and friendly ... Well, in general, let everything be as you yourself planned ".

If someone had asked me at that moment, I would confidently say that I heard someone's contented and happy sigh.

Well, then I walked out the door. To meet adventure.