Paisley.

As tempting as it would be to surprise "Jo Jo", the chance to have first crack at a genuine virgin, well, that just doesn't come along everyday. Picking up your mobile, you call the agency and ask the 'girl' on the other end if Paisley is available tonight, which she is, you then ask if Paisley is still as advertised.

"Yes, sadly no-one seems interested in her."

"Well, I'm interested."

"I'm cannot tell you how pleased I am to hear that, just promise me one thing, please don't hurt her."

"I promise you I won't. While I've got you on the phone, I have a couple of questions."

"Ask away."

"The first question is how much it would cost me for young Paisley to stay overnight. Second question is will she be bringing condoms and lube or do I need to supply that?"

"O.K., in answer to your first question, that will cost you £1000. Secondly, she'll bring the lube and condoms, which size should she bring?"

"If you could ask her to bring large or extra large, preferably ribbed, that'd be great."

You hear the 'girl' on the other end of the phone snort. "Sorry sir, but we've had a few customers who ask for that size and they come back unopened due to the fact that they should have asked for normal sized. So I guess I'll believe it when I see it."

"Well, if you want, I'll pose for Paisley when she gets here and she can send you proof via a photo."