Ork

The wizard mutters a couple words under his breath, and drops an orkish hair clipping into the coffee pot, much to the shock of everyone watching. The coffee's surface shimmers, and you can suddenly see visions moving around on the other side...

Bork is angry. He usually is angry, but today especially so. Fixing the pub was boring work, and doing it with Gurg made it insufferable, especially since Gurg was the kind of ork that really liked to talk about inane things constantly.

"So yous ever see an ork an' gobbo bab? Ye, ma' neighbour 'as une. Nice fellas', but theys chant too loud when me sleep. There even ork an' ogre babs, but humie an' ork? Naw, never seen une of them. Anyways, me am' mate thinks tribe should do more raid, get loot. Chief look lil' pudgy yesterday. Would be lotsa fun. Oh, me found biggerest tapeworm today in ma'-"

"That's it! Me go to forest an' chop wood." Bork grabs his axe, and exits the ramshackle pub. He sighs, glad to be finally free from that ork. He headed into the forest.

It's a nice day out. The sun is shining brightly through the tree canopy, their dazzling emerald colours almost impossible to look at. Birds tweeted happily, swooping overhead in arcs. Bork is no longer angry. He hums a happy tune as he finds a good tree to chop down. It's a good tree, thick but still young. He mutters a little bit of green 'un thankfulness under his breath, before swinging his mighty axe behind him.

CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CRASH!

He strips the branches off, and chops the log up into smaller, more manageable pieces. He ties them up in a bundle, but just as he lifts them up and throws them over his shoulder, he hears something. It's not exactly singing, but more like humming mixed in with a few 'la-la's' and 'doo-doo's'. Curious, he treads through the forest towards the source. He steps out into the open but is very quiet.

It's a small stream, but a lovely one, with slick stones and a raised bank, trees on both sides. There's a woman, a human, sitting on the bank, her trousers off but her underwear still on, dipping her toes into the water. Her backpack and hiking boots lie next to her. She has messy brunette hair with a ponytail, with a sharp but pretty face. She is fit and well toned, just like the ork females in his tribe. She hums prettily, and sits oblivious until Bork steps forward.

"Oh hello-" She gasps as she sees who she just greeted. "Oh shit, is that an ORC?!" She begins to scuttle away, but calms down when Bork drops his axe and sits on the opposite side of the bank. He takes his boots off and dips his toes in the water. There's a silence that hangs between them for a little while.

"I didn't know orcs were real..." she finally speaks.

"Me real."

Another pause as she wonders what to say next.

"Pillage and **** orc, or only kill orc?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Uh, me kill only sometimes."

"So pillage and ****?" She seems breathless as she says that.

"Sure me pillage, but no ****, me not animal."

"So you won't..."

He shakes his head from side to side.

"Oh." She seems relieved but also strangely disappointed. Another long silence. It's broken quite suddenly when the woman suddenly stands up, and starts taking her clothes off. Bork averts his eyes, blushing. She smiles at this, and when she is naked completely, she hops into the stream. It only reaches up to her waist, and the current isn't that strong. "Do you want to swim?"

"Me only come to chop wood."

"Aw come on, I've never met an orc before."

"Pfah, oki fine, but only for little bit. Me not supposed to slack off." He takes his clothes off, the woman watching intently. He keeps his loincloth on. He steps into the water. The surface is warm from the sun, but just underneath it's cool and refreshing. He stands to one side of the stream, a little too nervous to get close to the human. She smiles again.

"My name is Nora, what's yours?"

"Bork."

She giggles. "Like the sound a puppy makes?"

"Wha'? Puppy-" He freezes as the realisation set in. He never realised his name was an onomatepia of a small dog barking. "Oh no! My name is Bork!" He covers his face with his hands.

"Whoah whoah, hey! It's a cute name! I like it!" She jumps forward in the water, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Uh, um, a famous chef says bork too!"

"Chef?"

"You know, like a cook."

He considers this for a moment. "Really?"

"Yes, he's very famous. You don't have a tv?"

"Tee-vee?"

"Oh don't worry about it." She suddenly realises how close she is to the ork. She brushes over his muscled chest with her fingers. "So Bork, what do you do for fun?"

"Uh, me fight me guess. Sometimes me ride horsie."

"No no, I meant what do you do for fun." She bites her lip.

Bork scratches his cheek. "Me not understand."

"You don't have a wife or girlfriend Bork?"

"Mate?"

"Yeah."

"No."

She slips her hand under the water, and under his loincloth. She stifles her giddiness as she feels up his size.

"Ooooh, me gets it now. Yous wanna'..." He makes a 'fucking' gesture with his hands.

"Yeah I wanna." Nora stood in front of him, her face looking up at his. "I never really thought about having sex with an orc in my fantasies, but I knew the moment I saw you I just had to."

"Me dunno'. Chief be mad if he see me not work..."