Open to a random page

You open to a random page. Turns out it's the only pages not stuck together by your dried semen. You read the page and quickly see why. It's Norman Mailer's latest claptrap about his waining libido. Not a single sexy picture to be seen.

"Oh well" you sigh. "Guess I can read it and then I can say I've read the whole magazine before I die."

You finish the article and think that it was just awful. You wonder why they even put stuff like this in there instead of just the pictures, which is the only thing people want to see anyways. Probably so they have an excuse when caught with one. "Oh, I just read it for the articles." Has that excuse ever worked with anyone?

Anyway it was probably a good thing that it was boring. Don't want to risk getting too excited and accidentally cumming.