One month ago

Sat enduring a painfully crap omnibus of shitty soaps on the TV with Laura as we sat on the sofa in our new flat, I remember sighing and thinking there were much better ways that her and I could be spending an afternoon off work together. Today, as always, any hints or moves I made towards suggesting this fact were knocked back by my girlfriend who was flitting between paying her.phone or the TV her full attention. So as I slumped in the corner of the couch blankly watching one awful actor ham up lines to another awful actor, it was a relief when my phone chimed an alert. Any distraction from this situation would be welcome [escape.

As the phone stopped vibrating, I lazily took it from my pocket and saw a photo notification flash up coupled to the words "Jess". I haven't really got a poker face, so it was lucky my girlfriend was so engrossed on her own screen to notice my reaction. Why was Jess sending me a photo? Probably a mistake, was my first thought. I opened the message Jess had sent to see a picture sent with attached caption. The picture looked like it was off the back of a condom box insert, the instructions or something. Two cartoon cocks, one flaccid, one erect with a condom and arrows to show where to put it. I frowned in confusion until I read the caption that my ex had written to accompany the picture.

"Still makes me laugh. Nothing like how we put them on."

It's sad to say, but it'd been far too long since I'd felt my stomach surge and dick twitch like how that comment made me react. I'd not spoken to my ex in over a year and THIS is how she breaks the silence. I was dumbstruck for a moment. Visions of Jess running her tongue up and down my shaft before rolling latex onto my rock hard cock flashed into my head. Then memories of her squeals and moans as she rode me to her orgasms coupled with mental images of her naked body grinding on top of me. I flitted a look over at Laura, still zombified as she had been all afternoon, staring at the TV. I read Jess' message again, and then another time.

"She has to have sent it to me by mistake" repeated the the reasonable part of my brain. "No way she'd have meant to me send that." I tucked the phone back into my pocket and tried to put it from my mind and fight down the stir of lustful feelings that I knew were going to leave me feeling disappointed.

Then my pocket chimed again. I was a bit quicker off the draw this time and fumbled for my phone. No poker face, a tinny alert tone and my hurried scrabbling was enough to rouse Laura from her soap induced stupor. My mind was focussed elsewhere however. When I looked at the phone a second time there was another message from Jess, " ;) ❤️ :p" The chances of this being a mistake on her part just dropped massively

"Hey?" Laura's voice woke me up from my daze and I looked up to see her disgruntled face. "Mind shutting that thing up? I'm watching this." Standard bitchiness there. I opened my mouth to argue about how her looking at her phone was any different to me looking at mine but decided it was no use, and a bit childish. I stuck my phone on silent and looked at the message from Jess.

"Ok" I thought "probably not sent by mistake then." My mind raced. So, Jess was contacting me out of the blue, about condoms, and tacking on a message that was surely designed to make my head spin with images of her and me - let's face it - fucking. Questions flashed through my head, not least of all "How am I meant to reply to that?"

"Haha" was all I'd managed to write as a reply so far, and that seemed fairly shit as responses go. I agonised for a few minutes typing and deleting replies before clicking on the messengers' profile pic for Jess. All it showed was her long legs out in front of the phone somewhere sunny. A holiday I guessed, disappointed that I couldn't see Jess' face or more of her amazing body in the picture. I inwardly chided myself and chalked it up to weeks of sexual frustration building up.

The advert break suddenly kicked in and Laura got up to make herself yet another coffee. I stuffed my phone away and did my best to look as unflustered as possible.

"You keep texting away to people and you'll miss all of the plot points you know. I bet you can't even tell me what's happened in this episode." came Laura's voice from the kitchen. "Did you just say that like it was a bad thing?" I asked her craning my head back. Too late, I realised - her head was already back in her phone.

My phone vibrated yet again and I felt strong urge to be somewhere else where I could check the message uninterrupted.

"Back in a sec" I told Laura, getting up and walking my way to the toilet. Closing and locking door behind me, I heard Laura's annoyed huff as she sat down on the sofa again to watch her soaps, alone.