Offer your "Terms of Sale"

I decided there was no holding back. I was going to see how far Suzy was willing to “wheel and deal”. “Suzy,” I started. “You’ve been coming in here for the past year, almost once a month, trying to get me to buy that 8500 series model.” I watched Suzy’s eyes light up as she envisioned finally making a commission for the tireless effort she put forth. “Well, today, I’ve decided to go ahead and place that order.”

Suzy’s smile broadened and her face radiated pure happiness as she reached into her briefcase for the order forms and associated paperwork. Little did she realize that I was about to shatter her world.

“Ah, before we get started,” I interrupted, “I just want to see what kind of terms we can work out.”

“That’s no problem,” Suzy energetically responded, “We have a variety of terms, designed to suit your needs.” She began fumbling through her briefcase searching for the additional paperwork.

“I’m glad to hear that,” I countered. “Here are the terms I’m looking for.” I placed my hands firmly on the desk, making a soft thud, designed to get Suzy’s attention away from her briefcase. She stopped fumbling and looked at the hands on the desk, letting her eyes slowly travel up my arms till she focused on my eyes. Now that I had her attention, I laid out my terms. “As I was saying, you’ve been coming here every month trying to get me to buy. We both know you dress provocatively in those tight blouses and short skirts in an effort to bolster your sales.” Now it was my turn to smile as I watched Suzy’s gleaming eyes, fade and transform into a nervous questioning stare. “Like I said, I am willing to buy today! However, I’ll leave it up to you which terms of sale you’d like to take. I like you and I think you are very beautiful. I have stared at your body and imagined on countless occasions what it would be like to be with you. With that said, here is my offer. If you come over here right now and give me a fantastic blow job, I’ll buy one of those 8500’s.” I could see the look of shock and surprise, flash across her face. I knew she couldn’t believe what she had just heard. Before she had a chance to utter any sound, I continued with my offer. “However, if you’d prefer to let me sample your ‘fucking’ talents, I am willing to purchase two units.” I only paused momentarily to let the words sink in. “Before you make that decision, consider my third proposal. If you would allow me the opportunity to explore every opening, I will purchase three units.” I raised my right hand, signaling to Suzy to stop before saying anything. “Now I know these terms are a little out of the ordinary, but I am willing to pay cash today if you agree. If you feel that the terms are unacceptable, then I thank you for your time, and I would respectfully have to opt not to purchase any units.” I laid my hand back on the table, giving Suzy the chance to respond. I quickly raised it back up pointing my index finger towards the ceiling. “If you’d like to offer something better in exchange for a larger purchase, I’d be willing to consider it.”