Offer good advice

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“So, aside from these exciting weirdos, did any boring normies reach out to you?”

“A few tepid responses.”

“Well?”

“I’m still thinking about it.”

“And how long do you plan on thinking?”

“Four to six weeks.”

I laugh. “We aren’t talking about a broken arm! Dating is an activity. It requires action. Pick anybody that doesn’t creep you out and learn by doing.”

“Yes, coach.”

I give her a stern look but her sarcastic smile refuses to budge. "Mindy, you are a catch, and something I know about you first hand is that you are a pleasure to spend time with.”

She rolls her eyes and turns away. “How about I finish getting in shape first?”

“There is nothing wrong with you! Be generous to yourself. Try to be as generous to whoever you meet. I mean, still be careful about red flags, but everyone has some scars or burdens."

"Like two ungrateful kids?"

"Exactly! You can’t sugarcoat that one. They are two shameful, selfish, shitty little brats.”

Mindy snorts despite her best efforts to suppress it. She glances at the door. "Shush."

“You’re going to need a better backstory. Adopted orphans no one else would take on account of their creepy, webbed toes.”

She snorts again. “Stop.”

“Oh, here’s another hot tip: start by messaging someone you are not actually interested in.”

Mindy looks at me dubiously.

“You are bound to make some silly mistakes learning the quirks of how the dating app works. Get those out of the way on someone that won’t intimidate you too much and have a nice, friendly time—Oh crap! I’m losing track of the time. We can still blaze through a final round. Ready?”

“But I need more ancient wisdom, sensei,” she says, sarcasm back in full ****.

“Sensei says you’re about to get your ass kicked. Half the reps, but no rests.”

Mindy groans.

{else}Play in game mode.{endif}