My Experience With Sex

Puberty hit me pretty early, so my hormones were already going crazy by the time I was 11, but it was harder for me to control them, not only because I didn’t know how, but I had very strong urges thanks to a bad habit I picked up on quite early in my life. I actually discovered porn at the age of 6, when looking at some magazines dad kept in his room. I was only curious to see what a naked woman looked like, because I always thought they had penises like I did, but when I discovered they didn’t, I became obsessed over the dozens of nude ladies in those pages, and it seriously affected me.

I remember asking my mom a little bit about that topic, but she gave me a simple, childish explanation that didn't really help me. I know why she didn’t want to explain me what sex was at that age, but that led me to talking it a bit with my sister. Annie didn’t know anything about it, and I knew it would be awkward to talk about the naked girls I’ve seen, since she was one. I remember once I brought it up, and she suggested we should get naked to see each other’s parts. For some reason we didn’t go through with it, I think it would have been nice, and maybe had led to something naughty. We did talk a little about it, but we never learned anything from our little talks, mainly because we were still innocent -- although I was starting to explore this topic more, and it changed me forever.

One night, I tried going to Annie’s room, because I was a bit scared of the dark, and I think it was raining or something, but there were a lot of scary noises outside. I didn’t want to bother her, since I thought I would scare her when I woke her up, so I instead went to my parents’ room -- but there was also no space in her bed for both of us, so I doubt we could have slept together, or else I would have jumped into bed with her, and cuddle like we used to do when we watched cartoons.

Anyway, after I chose not to bother my sister, I walked to my parents’ bedroom. I knocked once on their door, but I heard that they were making a lot of noise inside, like they were somehow screaming for help or something. I was even more scared to hear that, and since they didn’t hear me at the door, I bursted through, trying to save my parents, but I found out that they didn’t need any help -- they were actually doing pretty good until I stepped inside.

To my surprise, I found my dad balls deep inside my mother’s pussy. I really couldn’t see what was going on, but I saw my dad with his back in my direction, and his testicles on top of mom’s ass. He was plowing her with vigor, and kept pounding her for a few seconds, since they didn’t notice I was now in the room, watching them have sex. They just kept going, while I was trying to process what I was watching. I genuinely thought my father was somehow abusing my mom, and she was about to die, but I didn’t have the strength to confront him.

“Mom?” - I ask in fear, and a ton of confusion, as it was the only thing I could do at that moment. I really didn’t want my mother to die like this, but I couldn’t tell my father to stop hurting mom, but it wasn’t necessary, because they stopped immediately. Of course, dad wasn’t hurting mom in any way, I think they were just trying to conceive another baby, but thankfully I prevented it.

They freaked out when they heard my voice, and my dad instantly rolled to the side, and accidentally left me a full view of her perfect body. Her legs spread open, exposing her recently stretched pussy, and her big breasts relaxing naturally on her chest, as she was lying down in an odd position. It was honestly quite erotic, even when my 7 year old self couldn’t figure out what was happening -- but now that I remember it, I wish I could have seen my parents fuck more, just to see my mother naked.

“What are you doing Andrew?? Don’t you see mommy and daddy playing over here??” - dad asked me in panic, and looking very concerned, after he grabbed his pants, and approached me menacingly. My mother also covered herself with a pillow, and I really felt guilty, since I knew I should never bother someone when they are playing -- specially these kinds of games.

“I didn’t know daddy, I’m sorry to interrupt you” - I replied with shame, as I felt like I committed a crime or something. But before I could excuse myself out of their room, mom assured me I didn’t do anything wrong, and she thankfully calmed me down.

“It’s okay sweetie, we were just having fun… Are you having trouble sleeping?” - mom asked me in a soothing voice, and I nodded innocently.

“Ohh, it’s fine, you can sleep with us for tonight if you are having nightmares…” - mom followed up, and it immediately excited me. I was so glad I could sleep with my parents, but I had to grab my teddy plushie from my room before I could go to sleep -- I never slept without Teddy. Apparently, my parents took advantage of that moment, because when I came back, I saw that they were now fully dressed, and ready to go to sleep. I didn’t mind seeing them naked so much, but it was probably better that they put some clothes on. So after probably the most uncomfortable moment for them, I got in the middle of the bed, and found a comfortable spot in between my parent’s bodies.

“Goodnight sweetie, we love you” - mom whispered to me, or maybe my dad, I don’t know. She then turned off the lights, gave me a kiss on the forehead, and we went to sleep together. I cuddled up to her body, and hugged her for the entire day, until I woke up feeling fresh, and not thinking of anything about last night. I’m sure mom still remembers that anecdote, and I still find it funny to this day, but also a little hug - I might have been part of a threesome with my parents if things turned out differently… Wait, what am I even saying? I was just 7 back then, what is wrong with me?

I got a little off track, but that incident actually led to mom being really open, and comfortable when she talked about sex, at least with me. She taught me a lot, and I learned more than in school, and at an early age as well. But since I was still trying to search for information on the internet, I eventually got distracted with porn. I was 12 when I found my first porn video, and it was on a cool site with tons of other sexy videos. I learned a lot of positions, and techniques that way, and I also learned that some girls can squirt when they finger themselves, and it was such a huge revelation -- but probably not as big as when I found out that squirt is basically pee, it was mortifying.

After that first video, I went down a rabbit hole of porn, and the rest was history. I was watching porn for hours every day, and even though I did it when no one was around, it still affected me a lot, and I think it just made me a weirder person. But also, I would have never learned all I know about sex if it wasn’t for the internet, but I guess that watching porn so much also has its downsides. I not only discovered a lot of weird fetishes, even some illegal stuff, but the main issue was that I developed a porn addiction.

Yea, I’m addicted to porn… It’s hard to admit it, but I think I’m done with it… Who am I kidding? I still watch it almost every day, and I jerk off more than I should… Damn, I should stop doing it… I promise I will stop this addiction right now, I will never ever watch porn again - I tell myself in shame, knowing full well that I won’t stop watching porn anytime soon. I always tell myself the same thing, over and over again, and I have gotten used to it. But before I could realize how pathetic am I, and how little self control I have, I focus more on my insecurities once again.

Apart from that porn addiction, which only made me feel a bit guilty with myself, I wasn’t insecure about much. I still don’t know how exactly I got insecure. Maybe I started sexualizing everything, or I was shy to talk about sex, or maybe I had boners every two minutes, and that’s why I didn’t want to talk to people in middle school. But thankfully, after middle school, highschool was much better, or at least from what I remember. All of my story highlights are probably found in my highschool experiences, it was truly the best - And damn do I miss my friends then, but that’s another story…

I have realized that I don’t need to feel insecure about anything, so even though this retrospection exercise seemed unnecessary, it did help me a lot - I mean, I already knew all of this about myself, but it’s nice to remember how my life was before I got here… I guess now I can only hope that my new life will continue being just as nice… but I doubt it. That’s what I’m planning to do, hope that my new life will be normal, or at least not worse than my previous one. It’s probably difficult to match the experiences I had when I was younger, specially in highschool, but I want to believe I can make this new life a nice one -- or at least prevent it from destroying my life completely.

So even though I had no expectations for this new house, this new city, and potential new life I have, I now have a bit more optimism for my future. I’m sure there are a lot of things I can do now, and thanks to my journey through my memories, I know which events are the ones that bring me the most happiness. I still have a lot to think about, and I want to remember some of my experiences in highschool, but I don’t think I will. Now that I have cleared some of my doubts, I’m much more relaxed, and comfortable to at least try to give this new life a chance -- even if it seems like I’m starting everything from zero again.

I’m sure it will be difficult to adapt to it, but as long as I know what I want, I will be able to find a few things that make me happy, or so I hope. But I can’t really think of what I want right now, because I’m already falling asleep. I would like to reflect more on my life, on myself, but I unfortunately have lost all of my energy for today, so I decide to just close my eyes, and go to sleep - Tomorrow will be a new day, I can sort out my problems then… hopefully there are not too many of them...