Muse on the past

Susan looked around again, still seeking something to do to distract her. She didn't much feel like sleeping, and her body still ached from her earlier torments. It felt cold in the dungeon, which she was sure was on purpose. Problem was, there wasn't actually very much to do when you were chained to a wall by your throat.

She sough tout something to do. The guards were pacing, but they would not be here for another half hour or so. It was probably night outside, though she had no windows to be sure. She didn't much want to sleep, but nothing else really presented itself to her. She sighed, her eyes falling on Sarah's nearly naked form. Her blond fellow **** was sleeping on the floor, curled up for as much warmth as she could save. Her blond hair fell around her face, framing it naturally in a way which made Susan stir.

"H-hey Sarah, are you there?

No answer.

She sighed again, and sat back, the wall cold against her naked skin. How could a princess end up like this? She'd never expected anything like it, even when the war was declared. She felt sorry for herself and miserable, but she was well used to both of those things by now. She ignored them, casting them aside with practice. Now was not the time for such things.

Though, she supposed she was alone in the world now, Susan had once had a sister, as well several sisters in fact. This one had been dashing, and brave, and daring. A real knight, or so it was said by the people. Once she'd gotten her title, she hadn't spent much time with the rest of them. She was always running off on missions, or saving people. But she remembered one time she had come home, and she'd sat next to her, every part the adoring younger sibling.

"What's it like out there?" She had asked. "Is it good, always getting to play the hero? Does everything always work out for you?"

She'd laughed, and patted her head, and she seemed at first to want to leave it there. But a thoughtful look had come over her face, and she had spoken.

"Honestly, Susan it's good to see everyone looking up at me. I feel their gazes on me, and they know that I can protect them. Their faith in me makes me fight harder, pushes me to be the best, to refine myself, to always improve. I feel the weight of it as well, you know? I can't fail them. If I ever falter, it's not just me who is going to suffer."

She hesitated for a moment, and then slowly raised a hand to her lips, miming the gesture for ''quiet''.

"Don't tell father and mother I told you this, all right?"

She nodded.

"Things don't always turn out for the best, Susan. As a royal, you can sort of believe that they do, people will shield you from the reality of it. But as a knight, you see it. I've seen people die. Friends whom I'd trained with and knew from the moment they first arrived. Maybe because they didn't train quite well enough, or made a mistake, or sometimes, they just got unlucky, and met a foe who was too good for them. Those ones are the worst. It's not their fault they died. They just ran into someone who was beyond them. The moment they did, nothing could save them. They were dead long before the weapon hit their body."

Her sister grinned, running a hand slowly through his fiery red hair. A scar crossed down the side of his face flushed pale, and her eyes seemed older than she had ever seen them before.

"Out there, as a knight, things can turn out badly. You can be cut off and alone, or know that you're probably going to die. It can be hard... sometimes, you don't feel like you can go on. But you have to go on. Even if you feel utterly miserable and helpless, you have to keep fighting."

"Why?" She asked. "if it's so hard, why can't you just come back to us? You could be a princess again, and live in the palace. We all miss you."

"I am sure you do." Her sister laughed, but then, she grew serious again. "But I can't go back. I've seen it now. The real world, and no matter how dark it is, I have to fight. I have to keep going. I have to struggle on. maybe I'll fail, and maybe I'll die. But one thing I won't do is stop. Not ever."

"W-why is that?"

"Because everyone is relying on me." She said. "And I can feel it every time I pause for even a moment. As a knight, as a former princess, as a hero... I have no right to stop. For everyone who is relying on me, it is my duty to keep going, even beyond the end."

Back in the present, Susan **** herself to focus. The tears in her eyes were quickly rubbed away, but her sister's words echoed even now. She didn't know what had happened to her, but she was sure that she was dead now, just like everyone else. But she was also right. No matter how helpless she might have felt, she had to keep going. Had to keep moving.

Had to find some way to escape.

Because if she didn't, she didn't know how much longer she would be able to resist.