Marooned Morons

Caroline responded... By turning on her heel and running towards the beach as fast as her legs could carry her.

"I don't like this..." Alex groaned nervously as she and Jane chased after their friend. After a few minutes, the three came to the beach to see Caroline's Dad's yacht...

Floating several hundred feet away from shore!

"No! Come back!" Caroline screamed fruitlessly, dropping to her knees in the sand.

"Our clothes!" Alex screamed in terror before storming angrily over Caroline. "What the hell, Caroline?! Why didn't you tie the boat down?!"

"I... I didn't know I had to!"

"'Didn't know'?! Your dad's been teaching you to sail for four years! How could you not know that?!"

"Guys, relax." Jane interrupted nonchalantly, walking up to the two. "You know, I was in The Girl Scouts. And my troop's motto was 'Always be prepared for anything'. Which is why I brought a satellite phone with me on this trip."

"You did?!" Caroline asked excitedly, jumping to her feet as she smiled widely. "Oh, Jane! I could kiss you!"

"Buy me dinner and a movie first, Caroline." Jane joked, shaking her head with a chuckle. "I'll just grab it from my bag, and we'll be picked up in no time."

Caroline's smile instantly vanished. "Y-Your bag...?"

"Yeah. My favorite lime green bag with the zebra print."

"You, by any chance, wouldn't be referring to the lime green, zebra print handbag that is on the freaking yacht that is sailing away from us right now, are you?" Alex spat with a sarcastic venom as she gestured to the boat.

"Yep! That's the..." Jane said, trailing off as she realized the implications, noticing Alex glaring angrily at her as Caroline bit her lip. "Oops."

"This is all your fault!" Alex spat as she stomped towards Jane.

"Um, guys?" Caroline began.

"My fault?! Caroline's the one who didn't tie up the boat!" Jane spat back as she backed away.

"Guys."

"Be that as it may, if you hadn't suggested that we explore this island naked, we'd at least be marooned with clothes on and a satellite phone to call for help! Good Lord! Do you even think before you act, you dumb blonde, nudist bimbo?!"

"'Bimbo'?! 'Dumb blonde'?! Oh, those are fighting words, you goth bit-"

"GUYS! THE BOAT STOPPED!"

Alex and Jane stopped arguing as they turned to see Caroline pointing out to the yacht as it came to a stop next to a series of rocks.

"Okay, no problem." Jane said with a smile, "I'll just go swim out to that rock, climb on the boat, and either make the call or pick you girls up."

Turning to Alex and Caroline, Jane stuck her chest out and put her hands on her hips. "Nothing bad can go wrong now!"

KABOOM!

That was when the yacht exploded in a fireball, the engine having hit the rocks as Alex and Caroline donned looks of horror. Still in her triumphant pose, Jane chuckled sheepishly as she felt the sweat run down her neck. "Um... I know how that looks..."

"My dad is gonna kill me." Caroline moaned.

"If we even survive long enough to see him again." Alex commented.

"Well, let's try to look on the bright -"

"Jane..." Alex interrupted as she approached Jane, "We are stranded on an uncharted island in the middle of the Atlantic. We are naked. We have no shelter, no food, and no contact with civilization. Our boat, clothes, and satellite phone are gone in a massive explosion. With all this in mind, I must ask you..." She grabbed Jane's shoulders and shrieked, "HOW THE HELL IS THERE A BRIGHT SIDE TO ANY OF THIS?!"