Maria Sharapova, the tennis star

Alysson tells me that Maria Sharpova is a big fan of American sports and would like to meet me.

"Who's that?"

"Uh, she's a famous Russian tennis star."

"Never heard of her. Is she hot?"

Alysson pushes a video tape across her desk. "See for yourself. Her people sent this for you. I guess they figured you might not know her."

I head home and pop the tape into my machine. It contains some footage of a hot blonde girl playing tennis. After a couple of minutes, there's some specially added footage. The blonde, dressed in a bikini, smiles at the camera and introduces herself as Maria. "I hope we can have fun together. I like black men very much. I hope you like me." Then she smiles seductively at the camera.

I have a raging hard-on as I call Alysson to tell her to set it up.