Making American Panda and another woman is acting strange

Meg and Jack kissed and basked in the post love glow. The bliss was ruined by the sound of something metal dropping to the floor in the kitchen below.

“Can’t they ever sleep in?” Jack rolled his eyes.

“You promised to take them to the zoo today,” Meg reminded her husband.

“Yeah,” Jack said.

Meg stayed in bed as Jack got up and went to the bathroom. Once he was in the bathroom, Steve ran into the room and jumped up on the bed.

“Mommy!” Steve giggled.

“Baby!” Meg said hugging her son.

“Dadda Go Animals!” Steve smiled.

“Yes, Daddy is taking you to the zoo today!” Meg smiled.

“Go to Zoo,” Steve mimicked what his mom said.

“That means you are going to the animal’s home,” Meg said, “Zoo is where animals live.”

“Zoo,” Steve said then cocked his head, “Is Zoo woods?”

“No,” Meg said, “Zoo has apartments for animals. Apartments like Aunt Bunny lives.”

The idea clicked in her son’s eyes and Meg smiled.

“Daddy!” Steve then shouted at Jack as he came out of the bathroom.

“Hay sport!” Jack said as he picked up Steve.

Meg was thankful that Jack had gotten at least partly dressed before coming back out. Meg watched as Jack took Steve out of the bedroom.

*

Meg was unsure for a minute. She had just seen her husband and kids off in their mini-van. And on the way back she overheard the teenagers across the street whispering about how hot she was, a super MILF. Meg was slightly disturbed at the comments… also felt a degree of pride, but, mostly she was confused, how did she hear them whispering on the other side of the street? Meg went in the house and caught sight of herself in a mirror. She looked better than she had for a while, she could swear she was wearing makeup. She wasn’t, in fact she had barely put on a tank top and yoga pants. Meg went up stairs and got out her tight leather pants and high heeled knee boots. Normally she would be as stiff as a maniquin in these old things, but she wasn’t. She pulled out the Tae-Bo dvds she had and put one on. She did the advanced workout without breaking a sweat, losing her balance or messing up. She then pulled out Iron Man 2 and skipped straight to the part where Scarlet Johansson kicked ass as Black Widow. The only reason she couldn’t double the fight was the lack of goons to fight in her empty house.

“I wonder,” Meg went to the fireplace and picked up the piece of wood in the cradle.

It was a quarter of a log about ten inches thick and two feet long. She gripped either end and snapped it like a popcicle stick.

“Holly shit!” She gasped, “I really am some sort of super ninja!”

Meg put the wood back and went back to her bed room.

*

“Fall in!” the captain called.

Lieutenant Amy Brewster took her spot in front of her platoon’s formation. She kept a straight face, in spite of the pleasant feeling still radiating in her.

“All right,” the captain announced, “Today we are going to go over Bee- Are-Emm, Basic Rifle Marksmanship. Next month we will be going to the range. I know most of you are hear either to fufill your post contract reserve status or are showing for your college money, but we still have to qualify with the em-fours. First Sergeant, take charge.”

Amy passed the relivent orders to her sergeants and waited for the command to fall out. Once that happened she heard the captain’s voice.

“Brewster, over here!” he ordered.

“Yes Sir,” Amy barked then turned to her sergeant, “Get the Em-two ready for the demonstrations.”

Amy jogged over to the captain and saluted as a major turned around.

“Lieutenant Brewster?” the Major asked.

“Yes sir,” she saluted.

“When was your last PT test?” the Major asked.

“Last weekend I did a record,” Amy answered.

“Scores?”

“Fifty three push-ups, one hundred sit-ups, and eleven minutes and fifty three seconds on the run,” Amy was proud of her perfect score.

“Good,” the Major smiled, “Height Weight?”

“Five eleven, one forty,” Amy blushed.

“Almost too thin,” the Major said dispassionately, “Why did you join my unit?”

“Well sir,” Amy said, “I met my husband in college and started hanging out with his Are-Oh-Te-See buddies. When we graduated my husband got commissioned in the Regular Army and I decided I didn’t want to just be a passive little stay at home wife, so I joined the guard too. That way I could serve in my own right.”

“Good answer,” the Major said, “Look. This might be putting you on the spot. But we need someone for the public relations people to stick in front of the news. They will be here shortly. I’m not going to sugar coat it, we’d much rather have you in front of the camera than Henry. You look like battle rattle Barbie, Henry…”

All three officers looked at the assigned public relations sergeant and groaned at the sight of him bending over. He had three months left before his obligation was over and he was finally completely done, and he stopped caring about what he ate two months ago.

“Right Sir,” Amy agreed, “Best face forward.”

“Work on your bio while you set up,” the captain said, “Spin it so it sounds more like a liberated woman. I hear the news team is sending their top feminist correspondent.”

“Yes sir.”

“We’ll call you when they get here,” the Major said.

“Yes Sir,” Amy saluted and went back to her platoon, “Jacobs! I thought you said these were your babies in Afghanistan!”

“They were ma’am,” the thin Mexican veteran said, “They saved our lives many times.”

“So why haven’t you put it together yet?” Amy asked.

“We never touched them ma’am, we were just pogs,” Jacobs said, “The infantry and the Em-Pees played with them.”

*

Meg smiled at herself, she wore the red and black leather mask her brother had gotten her years ago along with the black turtle neck, leather pants and boots. So far nothing she was doing was getting her hot or sweaty even in this outfit doing gymnastics in the ninety-five-degree heat. In spite of managing to hang off the chandelier upside down, the tied on red panda mask didn’t move from her face as if it was glued. She thought that she could be a super hero, but she would need a better outfit that this. She thought of those spandex zenti outfits and wondered if they had a red panda version…

“I wonder,” Med looked down at the floor and then let go.

She dropped to the floor and flipped over and landed on her feet silently.

*

“This is the Em-two heavy machine gun,” Amy said for the microphone, “It fires the half inch machine gun round, Sergeant? Like this.”

Amy took the dummy round and held it up for the camera, then handed it back to the sergeant.

“Sergeant please hold the five-point-five-six belt next to the fifty round for comparison,” Amy said for the microphone, “Those are what we use in our carbines and light machine guns versus what this big fellow uses. Sergeant do you have the dummy rounds?”

“Yes ma’am,” the sergeant smiled for the camera.

“Load up it up so we can show the folks at home how this works. Now,” Amy turned back to the camera, “First the crew raises the feed cover, then places the belt of ammunition on the feed tray. Once they have done that, the loader holds the belt in place while the gunner closes the feed tray cover and locks the belt in place for the moment. Now the gunner will pull the charging handle back pulling the bolt back and removing the round from the belt and setting it up to be chambered and fired when the bolt goes forward…”

As the sergeant released the charging handle and in a microsecond, Amy saw out of the corner of her eye that the bolt slamming into the rear of barrel sent it launching forward. While everyone else hadn’t realized what was happening yet, Amy saw the barrel started towards the reporter’s gut. Amy reached to grab the barrel in a **** attempt to save the woman from the flying chunk of metal.

“Holy shit!” the reporter screamed seconds later.

Amy found herself holding the barrel about six inches behind the front end of the barrel. Amy immediately grabbed the other end and put it down.

“Sergeant!” Amy shouted, “Why wasn’t the barrel properly installed? Please cut, I need to deal with this failure to set up this system properly! Sergeant Gonzales, check on these people to make sure they are alright.”

The camera looked down at the barrel of the machine gun and zoomed in on the hand print squished into the steel.

*

Meg sat on the couch looking at the purchase on her laptop. Jack and the kids would be back soon. She had changed into her yoga pants and a nice t-shirt. She looked at the order, The women’s captain America catsuit, a clip on red panda tail, a red panda balaclava, black lace up dancing knee boots, the black battle belt with thigh drop panels, the load of little pouches to put on it, and black leather claw gloves. She was after all American Panda… so how else should she be an American Panda ninja? Well she had also ordered some lingerie for Jack to get her out of. For some reason she felt real horny lately.