Lube up her hole.

"Well, I guess we should start by making sure you have the proper lube amount." You say, trying to keep your voice steady. "How much have you applied?"

"Ummm..." Melody looks away. "None."

"None?" You ask incredulously. "That's why you're having issues! It'll slide easier with some lubricant. Hold on a tic." You walk over to your dresser and open the top drawer. You find a half-used tube of KY Jelly and pull it out. "There we go."

"The lubrication is for the thermometer, right?" Melody asks wearily.

"No, it says on the box not to apply it to the device itself." You say, reading the back of the box. Your heart is beating faster and faster, but you struggle to maintain a cool head.

"Oh, God." She moans in despair as she covers her head. "Please tell me you at least have rubber gloves or something." You're not sure if you do and not sure if you want to find out.