Inept Goblin Ninjas

The party traveled along the trail swiftly, making no attempt to disguise their tracks, or avoid making noise.

About five-hundred feet further down they began to hear rustling in the bushes to either side, and not long thereafter from the trees above. They fained to not notice the noise, but bunched up so it would be harder to flank them. After a moment a dozen Shurukin flew out of the surrounding foliage...

And hit nothing but tree trunks, branches, the ground, and in one extremely lucky case the top of Ghazgul's helmet, which it bounced off of harmlessly. Suddenly they were surrounded by goblins dressed in ill fitting black ninja costumes, and Ghazgul just laughed. "You lot can't even use yer weaponz roight! You betta' fight betta' den dat or I'z gonna krump ya all tá weed out da bad blood!" Ghazgul chuckled menacingly.

The goblins visibly gulped and gave the attack everything they'd got, but half of them ended up injuring themselves or each other! One detonated a bomb under another's foot, two tried to draw and strike in one motion but when Shlegi steped out of the way one lost a hand and the other an eye, another tried to draw a poison dagger but cut his own hand, and the last two tried to do a "****-from-above" attack against Ghazgul but collided in mid air and ended up impaled on the horns of his helmet! As for the rest, all but one were killed by the parties counter-attacks, that last one being the one facing their herald Muckly...

Muckly, who was a lot stronger and tougher than he looked, grabed the last ninja by her ears and drove his knee into her stomach. She doubled over in pain and then he switched his grip and pined her arms behind her back. In his almost unnaturally high and piercing voice he snarled: "What is your NAME you pathetic excuse for a Genin?"

"My name is Lies, my homeland is The Shadows, Silence is my nativ-"

*CRACK!*

Muckly ripped off the woman's face wrap and slapped her so hard across the cheek that blood came out of her pores!

"Shut the fuck up!" he shrieked at her. "Until I say otherwise your name is 'Suck'! You are a stain on the Honor of the Nine Silent Dragons, and are unworthy to wear the robes of a Ninja! Remove them, NOW! he continued to shriek.

"I'm not going to take, off...!" 'Suck' protested, but trailed off and started to obey when Muckly raised his other hand threateningly.

As soon as she stood in nothing but her breast-band and loin cloth Muckly nodded.

"This is the first time I have done this, and likely will be my last, but so be it! As of now I take you as my student." he continued at a more normal volume. "We are now 'Lhia yu Xue'." He finished.

"Ah, scuse me teacher, but what does that last part mean?" 'Suck' asked.

"It's kind of hard to translate," Muckly began, "it's a little like 'teacher and student', a little like 'master and ****', and a bit like 'husband and wife'," he continued, before suddenly smacking his palm into the middle of her forehead, hard! "Mostly, it's like 'grindstone and blade-edge'!" he said, helping her up. "Class one training : anticipating and reacting to blows..." he finished.

The others were all guffawing at this little scene, but Ghazgul wiped the tears from his eyes and said: "Common youz lot, we'z lost more time'n we canz spare! We're gonna have ta move roight quick!"

"Common 'Suck'! Class two training: endurance!" Muckly shouted grabbing one arm roughly and taking off at speed, forcing her to keep up or be dragged...

Question to vote for this time:

A: What Does The Party Encounter Next?
A1: Boar Cavalry.
A2: Secondary Infantry Encampment.
A3: A Gathering of Mages.
A4: Goblin-Dogs And Goblin Lancers.
A5: A Juvenile Male Green Dragon.
A6: Squiggly Beast Herders.
A*: Write In...
*(Write in votes must be extremely concise: any write-ins more than five words long are disqualified, as are any using words of more than five syllables which are not proper or semi-proper nouns. Also please number your vote as though adding it to the end of this list, not with an asterisk.)