If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing right

"Fine!" Aliara hissed. "Just hurry!"

Teysa dropped her mace into its loop on her belt grabbed the stack of paper and spread it across the desk. Her brow furrowed. The top few sheets were just delivery records, nothing useful there. Invoices, bills, what looked like an obscene doodle... there! She swept her arm across the pile, sending a cascade of sheets flapping and slithering to the ground, and pulled out a faded and wrinkled map. It showed a wide rectangle dotted with smaller squares and circles, each labeled in tiny, curling script.

From somewhere outside, she could hear raised voices. They seemed to be coming closer. They weren't shouting-- yet-- but there was definite consternation in their tone. Aliara heard them, too. She ran over to the door and put her shoulder against it. It began to close, slowly at first but gaining momentum as she shoved. Just as the approaching voices reached the bend in the corridor, the door banged shut with an echoing crash. Aliara's fingers shot the bolt and she ducked away from the window. Instantly, the voices outside became shouts of surprise and anger. Teysa tried to ignore them. One finger dragged across the sheet as she read. "Salted meat..." she muttered under her breath. "Beetlewine... coal... here! Amberhaze!" She pointed across the room at a row of clay amphorae, each the size of a person. "Li, there! That's what we're here for!"

"Ok," Aliara said, "great. Now how do we get out? I'm not starting a fire in a room I'm locked into!" She jerked her head towards the door. "And I don't think that's gonna be an option either! Tey, what do we do?"

Teysa's eyes flickered back to the map. Her finger hovered over it for a moment, then stabbed at the back corner. "There, Li! There's another exit from this place!"

"Where does it go?" Aliara asked. Teysa tried to read the faded letters and gave up. "Not here!" she said. "That's gonna have to be good enough, unless you want to try the door we came in!"

"This was a stupid plan, Tey! I'm really sorry!" Aliara shouted. She was already halfway across the cave. "Now grab a torch!"

Teysa rolled up the map and shoved it into one of the pockets on her vest. She lifted the nearest torch out of its sconce and followed Aliara.

The amphorae were capped with thin pot-metal lids, sealed with globs of wax. Each bore the same eye symbol Teysa had seen before. She scrabbled at the first with her fingers, but it was stuck on surprisingly tight. She shifted the torch into her left hand and drew her mace. One solid whack shattered the lip of the amphora. Shards crumbled away to reveal stacked sheaves-- the same stuff that she had been carrying in her satchel, but far more of it. She dipped the torch in and the stuff burst into flame. She moved down the line, smashing each jar in and setting its contents alight. Heavy smoke began to fill the cave; it carried with it a familiar scent. Teysa turned her head away from the cloud. She knew from experience what effect amberhaze had on her, and that kind of distraction could be deadly. Aliara began at the far end of the row. She pried up the lids with her dagger blade and thrust her torch into the mouth of each pot. Between the two of them, they soon had the entire row alight. The clay pots began to crack and shatter from the heat; one exploded with an echoing _boom. _The smoke was starting to spread now and the crackle of the fire was growing louder. "Time to go, Tey!" Aliara shouted. "Now!"

The two of them bent double at the waist to keep their heads below the ****, roiling cloud. They scurried to the back corner Teysa had seen. The walls here were lined with stone shelves, which bore a strange collection of curios. Teysa saw a gilded violin, a small velvet bag, a round-eyed wooden mask painted in candyfloss pink. She ignored these and tried to find the passage she had seen on the map. According to the directions, it was--
"There!" she said and pointed a finger. "Look, in between that glass tank and the shelf next to it." There was, indeed, a hole in the wall-- barely more than a crack, and certainly not easily visible to one who did not know of its existence. She had to turn sideways to squeeze through it, and her head clipped against a rocky outcropping from the ceiling, but she made it through safely enough. It widened on the other side, and a corridor spiraled away into the rock. "Made it, Li!" she said. "Come on, before they--"

She turned. Aliara wasn't there.

"Li?" Teysa called. "Come on, where are you? We have to move!"

There was a heart-stopping pause, then Aliara's head peered around the corner. "Coming!" she said. "Tey, I found something!"

Teysa grunted with impatience. Aliara was sometimes distractible, but this was not the time. "Li," she said in a warning tone, "seriously, you need to--"

"Sorry!" Aliara had no trouble navigating the little crack. She practically leapt through it. "But I had to rescue this. See?"

She flourished what looked to Teysa like a little log. It was about the size of her forearm and stripped of its bark. It resembled a piece of driftwood, except for the tight script that covered nearly every inch of its surface. The letters curled and twisted around each other in a dizzying pattern, but none ever overlapped. Teysa squinted at them. "That's... is that elven script?" she asked. Aliara nodded enthusiastically. "Yes!" she said. "It's a hyvyth carving. An elven epic. I never expected to see one down here! I couldn't let the fire destroy it, Tey, it's priceless." She hugged the log to herself like a child.

"Well... ok," said Teysa. "But we have to go, Li, I mean now. Before they start watching the other end of this tunnel."

"Sure," said Aliara, nodding. "Fine." She tucked the piece of wood gently into her overalls and held her torch high. "Let's go."

The two of them made their way along the corridor. Behind them, they could hear echoing shouts of consternation and anger. The passage they traveled was wide and even; the walls were rough-hewn stone but the floor bore the scuff marks of recent and heavy use. Teysa did not have the best sense of direction, but she got the impression that they were curving around to the left. That made sense, if this warehouse connected to the club they had been sent to initially.

Aliara laid a warning hand on Teysa's forearm. Teysa stopped, and then she heard it too: the faint murmur of conversation from up ahead. There was a liquid bubbling sound, then a burst of a high, feminine laughter. Aliara stalked forward a few yards and disappeared around a bend. After a moment she returned, looked at Teysa, and made a curt, economical series of hand gestures-- signs that they had familiarized themselves with over years of working together. Door up ahead. People, noncombatants. Not aware of us.

The two of them crept along the corridor for a few more feet, then Teysa saw it: a door cut in the rock wall. She sniffed and smelled something floral, but with an unpleasantly sickly undertaste. Light poured out of the door and along the corridor, not the flickering light of her torch but a pellucid blue glow that shifted like water.

Aliara ground her torch against the wall to extinguish it, then laid it carefully on the floor. Teysa followed suit. The two of them flattened themselves against the wall, inched up to the door, and peered around it.

The room inside was bowl-shaped and small, no larger than their apartment in the warren. A ring of stones in the wall overhead were the source of the shifting blue light; it seemed to come from inside them somehow. The only furnishings were stone slabs set into the wall at intervals around its edge. Each was piled high with pillows and blankets, and figures lounged across them, some swaddled in bedding, others lying exposed. In the center of the room sat an enormous glass hookah from which descended four hoses. The bulb of the hookah was transparent, and Teysa could see an oily liquid sloshing around inside. Rainbow patterns formed and dissolved on its surface, and it seemed to be in constant motion, lapping gently against the walls of the tank. Mist rose from vents in the top of the hookah and spilled from the tips of its hoses. Scattered across the floor were more people. Most were human, some drow, a very few other species that Teysa didn't recognize at once. They were of both sexes, but universally young and pretty-- although some of them were starting to attain a slack, wasted look that she recognized all too well. Most of them wore scraps of silk and leather and lace. Some were nude. Their bodies tangled and intertwined as they passed the hookah from hand to hand. Smoke gushed from their mouths and noses, mixing and mingling and rising to join the cloud overhead. Their movements were slow and languid. Arms rose and fell, legs kicked in the air, fingers pinched, stroked, caressed, teased... to Teysa, it looked like one of the triptych paintings of the Outer Hells from the Abbey. She shuddered at the association. The dead-eyed youths in the room were not in hell, but surely they could see it from here.

"Come on," she hissed. "We have to keep moving."

"No..." Aliara looked thoughtful. "No, Tey, I have an idea." She stepped into the chamber. Reluctantly, Teysa followed.

Five minutes later, they heard heavy booted feet clomping down the corridor outside. Teysa resisted the urge to look up. She could hear shouting echoing from the corridor walls and getting closer. "Fire!" someone said loudly. "All hands!"

"Someone get the harem moving!"

"Bugger that! Those addled degenerates can take care of themselves!"

"Idiot! What will the boss say when you tell him you let his playthings all burn to **** 'cause they were too stoned to move?"

Following this was a volley of angry and inventive cursing. A bulky shape loomed in the doorway. Teysa risked a glance; a man in armor was looking down at her with undisguised loathing. His orange skin and tusks marked him for a half-orc. A hand with taloned fingers the size of sausages closed around her elbow. "To your feet, slut!" he bellowed. "All of you, up! We're moving!"

Those few of the chamber's inhabitants with the wherewithal to speak groaned in complaint as they disentangled themselves. Teysa allowed herself to be manhandled to her feet. She felt dreadfully exposed; she had discarded her "merchant clothes" in exchange for a confection of silk and silver buckles that barely protected her modesty. She felt ridiculous in it-- it was clearly intended for a waifish figure, and she could feel the fabric straining to contain her curves-- but she supposed that was the point. She protected her modesty as best she could with her hands, and despite feeling a hand or two short, she knew that she at least wouldn't stand out among the crowd.

Aliara, showing remarkable presence of mind, had swaddled herself in blankets and propped herself up against the wall. She kept one tightly wrapped around herself. Teysa prayed that Li wouldn't be **** to disrobe-- the mace and daggers, not to mention her precious piece of wood, might be difficult to explain. The half-orc seemed to have little interest in any of his charges, though, beyond shoving them out the door. "Come on, slugabeds!" he yelled. "Move! Move or burn!"

Teysa and Aliara allowed themselves to be herded up the corridor with the rest of the rabble. The stone was rough against her bare feet, though the youths seemed to be getting the worst of it; their skin was soft and their muscles wasted from lack of exercise. Teysa wondered if it might have been **** to leave them. The fire was unlikely to spread along a stone corridor, but smoke was already starting to fill the air. It's how they'd want to go, she reflected, and cursed herself for the thought. It was cruel and unbecoming.

Their small group spilled out into a larger, open space. More stones around the walls filled the room with that shifting blue light, but there were torches, too, and open firepits dotting the floor. One half of the room was given over to an elevated stage. Strange metal frameworks and sculptures dotted its surface, but Teysa had no time to speculate on their purpose. This room was full of people of both sexes and every species. Clearly, they had been interrupted in the midst of some revel; just as clearly, they were unhappy about it. The black-haired gnome from earlier stomped up to their half-orc minder and planted his hands on his hips. Teysa turned away from him to hide her face, but he showed no sign of paying attention to her.

"Kurst! What the hell is this?" the gnome demanded. He swept one arm to take in the shivering, miserable crowd of youths. "What are you doing with the master's pets?"

Kurst grunted. "There's a fire in the warehouse. You want me to leave them there to suffocate?"

The gnome let loose a torrent of some of the most profuse and inventive profanity that Teysa had ever heard. Even Kurst reeled backward from it. It seemed to go on and on. When he finally subsided, he was breathing hard. "Just take them over to the corner!" the gnome said, and indicated with one hand. "There's blissweed there, that'll keep 'em still. Then you get to the warehouse and grab a bucket, you lunk. MOVE!" This last was accentuated with a clap of his tiny hands. Kurst was at least three times the gnome's height, but he bowed deeply and respectfully. "At once, sir," he said.

Whatever frustration he had at being bullied by a gnome, he took out on his unfortunate charges. A young drow male stumbled a little too close and Kurst cuffed him across the face hard enough to spin him around. The youth sagged into the arms of two of his fellows, and all three looked up with stunned and tearful expressions. "Don't touch me, scum!" the half-orc growled. "Follow." He beckoned them all with one hand. Teysa and Aliara moved with the pack as they were steered into a corner. There was a low table here, and a ring of cushioned benches. A brazier on the table wafted aromatic pink smoke in their direction. At the sight of it the rush turned into a headlong stampede. Teysa was nearly trampled by a dozen slim, lovely bodies all trying to get as close to the cloud as possible. She avoided them as best she could and slouched onto the couch. Aliara slumped next to her and rested her head on Teysa's shoulder. The half-orc waited until the whole group had resumed their customary sprawling puddle, then walked off the way he had come, muttering all the while.

Teysa spared a moment to look around. She could see the door-- it was tantalizingly close, the back of the stony giant clearly visible. The party had clearly been interrupted, but not halted. At the far end of the hall, a few dancers gyrated on raised daises, and guests of all species lounged in comfortable chairs or against the wall. A throne of sorts had been set up against one wall, and its occupant was faintly visible at this distance. Teysa could make out a vast, rotund shape, wreathed in smoke, and something shiny that winked and glinted in the reflected light of the firepits. The bulk shifted, and she looked away quickly. We've done what we came to do, she told herself. Time to get out.

Something wet slithered into her ear and she cried out. She felt fingers tracing down her neckline, plunging below the ridiculously scanty costume to seek out her nipples, pinching, tweaking...

"Aliara!" she hissed. The half-elf withdrew her tongue and kissed Teysa daintily on one cheek. "Just getting into character, love," she said. "What do you think? We run?"

Teysa re-fastened some of the silver buckles that Aliara had opened. "I don't know if I can run in this. But yes, I don't think we'll get a better shot." They stood up with exaggerated caution and sidled over towards the wall. Nobody seemed to be looking their way. A few uniformed guards were running in and out of the tunnel that had brought them into this room, but none of them were nearby. Teysa **** herself to walk casually towards the door. Running would draw attention. She was close, so close... just fifteen feet now, ten...

"Hey! Where are you going!" The question was delivered in an angry growl from somewhere to her right. Teysa spun to see a human advancing on her, his sword drawn. Her eyes darted to the door. So close!

"Li!" she called, but Aliara was already moving. She threw off her blanket, revealing the black leather bustier and tiny silk underwear she was wearing beneath. One hand held Teysa's mace, which she tossed over underarm. Teysa caught it and turned the momentum of the throw into an upswing that caught the guard on his chin and threw him backwards. Then, without looking to see if there were more coming, she ran.

Aliara matched her step for step. The giant at the door had heard the commotion and was turning. His eyes narrowed and one tree-trunk-thick arm reached out towards Teysa. She turned her forward progress into a rolling dive. The giant's legs rose on either side of her like the walls of a narrow canyon. For a moment, she felt something catch, then the lace of her costume tore and she was free.

They burst into the light of the market. Startled merchants turned to stare. Teysa's cheeks burned but she ran anyways, arms at her sides, legs pumping. She could hear yells and the clanging of armor behind her, but she had a solid head start, and at least she wasn't wearing much to slow her down. Aliara caught her up easily as they crossed the plaza. She had her wooden treasure in one hand and her daggers tucked into the laces of her bustier. "Why... are... you... wearing... that?" Teysa panted. "You... had... the... blanket!"

Aliara grinned. "What, you don't think it's sexy?" Somehow, she jutted her chest out as she ran and waggled back and forth. "You don't like it? Or should I just save it for the bedroom?"

Teysa rolled her eyes. Sometimes Aliara was too much.

They sprinted through the market. Faces turned to gawk as they passed. A matronly drow clapped her hands over the eyes of her startled offspring; the child peeked through her fingers with his mouth agape. As soon as Teysa and Aliara had past, the bustle of the market resumed; it seemed that even two nearly-nude sprinters could not disrupt commerce for long. Teysa stopped hearing the sounds of pursuit before they were halfway across the market, but still she kept running until her lungs were burning and her muscles seizing. She slowed to a halt outside the Golden Cockatrice and slumped against one wall. Aliara leaned against the wall next to her with a casual smile. She didn't even appear to be winded.

"So, that was fun," the half-elf said. "You ready to go talk to a priest now?" She looked Teysa up and down. "Or do you need a minute?