I just need this bottle of lubricant.

"I just want to buy this bottle of chocolate-scented lubricant." The young lady with the dark skin and the raven-black hair placed the bottle on the counter.

Ann's keen eyes bored into hers. "Yes, it will go well with the seventeenth-century anal tickler you secreted in your handbag."

"What?! Are you accusing me of something?"

"No, I am merely stating a fact. The burnished oak studded anal tickler which you placed surreptitiously in your handbag was indeed made in 1685. It has given many an interested lover a surprise up the ass."

The young lady began to sweat; how did this overdressed china doll even know? She wasn't in the front of the shop at the time! She considered making a break for it but couldn't bring herself to actually run.

"I don't appreciate thieves, but I will offer you two choices. You may discuss this with the police, and you will then discover how truly expensive the item you stole was, or we can handle the matter informally."