I'd like something for my girlfriend.

"Hi; uh, look, I've uh, never been here before because I don't usually come into this kind of store, but it's my girlfriend's birthday and I'm looking for something that will say I'm interested in her like that but not be too forward."

"Your name is John, is it not? And your girlfriend's name is Sarah?"

"How do you know that?"

"I would be failing in my duty of keeping an intimate shop if I did not. Now, I believe I have the perfect item for you. Come this way."

John followed the shopkeeper over to one side of the store.

"Take off your clothes, please."

"What!?"

"I must ensure the device is the right size. We specialize in tailored fits."