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Chapter 2

"Hey, Finn! How do you like my new bikini?" asks your best friend as she poses half naked in the doorway. The sight of so much beauty almost brings tears to your eyes, especially because you know you'll never be able to examine that body any closer than you can right now. But also because Cassie has always trusted you blindly. There's never been a discussion about how she's behaved towards you, and neither you nor Jackson have anything to complain about when Cassie introduces you to her new pieces of clothing. Even though Jackson is the lucky one who gets to free her from the green, black and yellow piece it's you who shows strength (and stupidity), fighting down your urge to say and do the obvious and signaling your approval to Cassie with a raised thumb.

"The absolute bang." Seductively, the girl of your dreams leans her back against the doorframe, angling one of her slender legs and resting her head against the wood. As with everything in her life, she proves she can wear the perfect pout on her face.

"You always say that" she mumbles, looking at you from downcast eyes. You're about to defend yourself but then the joy returns to her face and she hops around your small room on her bare feet. Your small bed shakes as she drops onto it and you can't suppress a quick glance at her palm-sized breasts. Cassie is used to that, too. "I think they show off well with the color" she chirps, looking at her breasts, "Don't you think?" Her look is teasing as you are already used to.

"Mhm," you just make and are glad about the weight of your old laptop on your lap. Smiling mischievously, Cassie settles down on her hands. Her butt and back move smoothly as she crawls next to you and places her hand on the edge of the screen while the cord of her bikini play around her hips.

"What are you doing?" she asks innocently and nibbles on her finger.

"Making the most of my time," you reply, and in turn, you have to show your teeth in a grin. For two days Cassie has been practically holding you captive in your room. She just doesn't want to believe that you're really better. You shouldn't have allowed Doris to tell her all the details of your accident, but you gave her permission to speak. That thought triggered the urge you've been chasing for the last thirty-six hours.

"Porn," Cassie states matter-of-factly. But of course she doesn't let you stop her, bending a little further until her hair falls over the edge of the screen and looking at your laptop. "Huh?" she stares at you, puzzled. Leaving aside the fact that Cassie takes the right to barge into your room unannounced at any time, the idea of watching porn is really tempting. Especially since you've developed an inexplicable taste for hospital porn in the last few days. "Are you into erotic stories now?" You just shake your head and bend your legs like in the hospital.

"No. I do my research. Smart people do that." You flinch under Cassie's blow, then you both laugh. No way Cassie thinks she's stupid. Lithely, your friend settles down next to you, paying no attention to the fact that she's in a bikini, and looks over your torso at the screen.

"Therefore, it is fair to assume, Gaius Julius Caesar, Hannibal and Genghis Kahn possessed a level of leadership that enabled them to build such great empires and lead the armies they were known for." Cassie looks at you in disbelief. "That turns you on?" she asks, the corners of her mouth turning upward.

"I just want to find something out, get to the bottom of something," you say dismissively. How are you going to explain it to Cassie? You can hardly believe it yourself. But Doris, the doctor... A lot has happened that you can't explain. "And since you lock me in here..." You don't mean any harm, but you also realize that your suspicions are burning under your skin. You are intelligent enough to realize that what Doris has done for you is not normal. Something is different and it can't be because everyone is being nice to you. Maybe it's just hope, but you can't explain why suddenly things seem to work that were otherwise impossible for you. You're not that funny that Doris spends a whole day at your side. And who spends two hundred dollars on a damn steak? Cassie notices how lost in your thoughts you are and surely suspects you're back in a messy place like you so often are when she and Jackson are having fun together.

"I'm only doing this for your own good," she replies, coming so close that the tips of your noses almost touch. "And this too..." Without warning she reaches under your simple white shirt you've been in for the last few days and tickles you. It's easy for her, all this time you've been lying on your back reading articles about generals, leaders, politicians and the conspiracy theories they were involved in. "Wait you..." laughs Cassie, falling all over you. You fight back as you always do and soon you two are in a tickle battle whose outcome has never changed. In the end, you always let go of her and surrender before you can't control yourself anymore. But this time something is different. While Cassie is about to pinch your belly, she freezes. "Wait a minute..." she mumbles and you immediately freeze. Nothing would be worse than making her realize that she can't feel safe around you anymore.

"What is it?" you ask, but your friend sits up without a word. Before you can react, she grabs your blanket and pulls it aside. "What's wrong? Don't you want to... oh..." Now you see it too. "What the..."

"Finn?" asks Cassie slowly. "Have you always had muscles like that?"

Completely perplexed, you stand in your bathroom, looking at yourself among the various beauty paraphernalia Cassie has cluttered the rim beneath the mirror with.

"What the fuck," you mutter. Not that you were ugly before. You had a spot or two... or several on your body that you weren't happy with. But now... you look perfect. Hardly an ounce of fat on your body, you have muscles too, but you don't look bloated. Your skin shines with freshness and health, your eyes are clear and bright and your hair is firm yet soft. Nothing indicates that you died three days ago. "Or maybe you did...could it be..." Maybe you had to cross the threshold to start over. Still, it scares the hell out of you.

"Finn?" Of course Cassie followed you. It apparently worries her more that you locked the door to the bathroom than that you jumped out of bed and ran out of the room so fast. "Are you okay in there? Did you fall in the toilet?"

"No...I...everything's okay Cas." But you're not sure anymore.

"I was getting worried" comes the muffled but relieved voice through the wood of the door. That makes you wonder.

"That was enough to make you stop worrying?" you ask aloud.

"What's that supposed to mean now? I trust you Finn." Okay, fair enough. But what if... Cassie's face lights up with joy as you unlock the door. As she looks into your face, however, her expression changes and becomes something else. She waits, tense.

"Say..." you begin, watching Cassie raise her eyebrows.

"Huh?"

"Say... do I look different in any way?" Cassie lets her gaze roam over you, her features contorting with strain.

"I... don't know..." she mumbles, looking at you again. You can't believe it. You've seen each other half-naked so many times, swimming or when she's been in your room. It just can't be that she ignores your belly fat or your thin hair or your bent back. Besides, you notice that Cassie looks a bit smaller. I've grown! With your mouth open, you stare at your best friend. "Finn...you're scaring me..." she mumbles, unable to look you in the eye. "What do you want me to tell you?" Nervously, she chews on her bottom lip, paws the ground with her bare feet, and chastely interlaces her fingers in front of her lap.

"Uh..." Oh fuck, what the hell? "It's okay," you say lightly, grinning stupidly and waving the argument aside with your hand. "Just kidding." Still, you have to swallow, but there's no going back. "I've always looked like this." You can watch your best friend relax before your eyes, but can't believe it.

"Ashole," Cassie laughs and wants to punch you again, but this time you can dodge it. The mood clearly lifts again. "Don't think you can wrap me around your little finger just because you almost got killed."

"Wouldn't try," you say, immediately feeling bad. You've never lied to Cassie before. You keep the truth from her a lot, of course, mostly so you don't make her unhappy. But lying? Cassie, smart as ever, recognizes your inner struggle.

"And if you do, it's just to please me. I know you." She wrestles with herself for a second, something you don't know about her either. Then one side of her wins. "Oh, come here." In a bikini, half-naked, she wraps her arms around you, also half-naked, and snuggles up to you. "Glad you're here... buddy." Then she lets go of you, looks at you again, and mutters, "Changed... sure.," Shaking her head, she leaves a completely confused Finn behind. From the hallway, you can still hear her call out, "Cooking is on me today."