Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-Jig

(Originally posted by CatFish)

"I wish we were home right now, so you could see!"

Suddenly, they were -- actually, the SUV was half a block from home, going down the quiet suburban street, still traveling at freeway speed.

Kevin slammed on the brakes, the antilock system keeping them from locking up, but the tires still squealed, and he finally came to a stop past his driveway, knocking over several of the neighbors' garbage cans in the process.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath, turning off the ignition and getting out of the SUV as he wondered why the neighbors had put their garbage cans out, when tomorrow was a holiday.

They promptly faded from existence.

He turned his head to look across the street, where another set of garbage cans just disappeared.

He walked to the front of the SUV. Well, if hitting the cans had caused any dents in the front bumper, they weren't there anymore.

The girls were getting out of the back seat, and Emma must have noticed something, because she said, "Oh, my gosh, Kim, you did get his autograph!"

"What do you mean?" Kim asked.

"Hey, she's right!" Annabelle exclaimed. "And Emma's got one, too!"

Emma said, "I bet you have one."

Kevin finally looked up from the bumper to look at the girls. It was lighter here, directly under a streetlight, than it had been in the arena parking lot -- and with Kim and Emma's midriff-baring tops, he could see that they both had what appeared to be a tattoo on their lower backs, identical scrawls that resembled "J---- H--------."

"Oh, no," he said, walking toward the girls for further examination, but then he heard his wife's voice. "Kevin?!" she yelled. She'd just walked out of the front door.

"Over here, Mommy!" Emma directed.

"I thought I heard you," she said, walking deliberately toward the group under the streetlight -- and then stopping in her tracks, her jaw dropped.

"Um, hi, Jennifer," Kevin said.

"See, I told you we were more pretty!" Annabelle insisted.

Jennifer shook her head. "I don't know what to say. I mean, they were showing people on the news, but -- but when it's your own family --" She looked her husband in the eyes. "I know this wasn't your fault, but -- but what are you gonna do, showing up at work like that on Monday?"

Kevin shrugged. "It'll be fine. It's not like I was the only dad who was there."

"You sound like you're okay with this," said Jennifer. "Really? Our girls, and their friend, have been -- have been -- I guess I have to say 'sexified,' and they're standing here in high heels and makeup -- is that okay?"

"So you're not okay with having a total hunk for a husband?" Kevin asked.

His wife rolled her eyes. "It's not about that, it's about -- well, we shouldn't be discussing this out here. Let's go inside, wash the girls' faces --"

"We tried already, with soap and water," said Emma. "The makeup didn't come off."

"Well, I'll sandblast it off if I have to," Jennifer said with a sigh. "I can't believe that Jason Henderson did this. First he pollutes the airwaves with his crappy music --"

Annabelle interrupted, "Oh, Mommy, I don't think you should talk like that."

"Oh, right, he says he's God now, and he turns all his fans into -- into teenage sexpots! So what's he gonna do for people like me?"

"Honey, let's go inside," Kevin said, grabbing Jennifer by the shoulder.

She just raised her voice. "What's he gonna do to people who aren't his fans? People who hate him?"

There was about a second of silence, and then a dog barked in the distance, and Kevin felt his wife's skin crawl under the grasp of his hand. He watched Jennifer transform, becoming...